No, research largely debunks the myth that only children become lonely loners; they often develop strong independence, maturity, and creativity, and studies show they have similar social lives and happiness levels as children with siblings, even if they enjoy solitude more. While they might spend more time alone, this doesn't mean they feel lonely, and they often form deep bonds with adults, leading to well-developed social skills.
Are Only Children Lonely? The easy answer is that yes, of course only children can be lonely but it's not necessarily because they're only children -- it often occurs because they don't have strong social connections with other people, especially those their own age.
Research on only children
Only children do not have poorer social skills. They are not more selfish or narcissistic. They aren't less happy in life. They may spend more time alone but are not more likely to describe themselves as lonely, which is an important distinction.
In fact, according to research (both personal and scientific), the majority of only children have higher levels of ambition, independence, character, and intelligence and are better adjusted to life's ups and downs. That's all without having to deal with sharing toys and wearing hand-me-downs. Not too shabby!
The study concluded that close sibling spacing tends to produce extraverted and highly aggressive children while wide sibling spacing tends to produce introverted and less aggressive children. The study further found that the only children, ranked highest in introversion and, lowest in aggressiveness and extraversion.
Research suggests that only children and children with siblings are just as likely to exhibit traits like selfishness, perfectionism, and a desire for control, among others. That said, only children may exhibit certain characteristics more commonly than those who grow up with siblings.
Middle children are often labelled as 'middle child syndrome' sufferers, which entails receiving the least attention from the parents. Middle children are more likely to be willing to compromise and are typically quite competitive to keep up with their older siblings.
Best Match: Oldest Child or Youngest Child
Last but not least, the onlies. Youssef explains that eldest and youngest siblings would make a good match for the only child.
The "3-3-3 Rule" for kids is a simple mindfulness technique to manage anxiety by grounding them in the present moment: first, name three things they can see; next, identify three sounds they hear; and finally, move three different parts of their body. This engages their senses, shifts focus from worries, and helps them regain control when feeling overwhelmed, like during test anxiety or social situations.
Research shows that the order of birth matters: the middle child is the most prone to problems. There's a stereotype that the oldest child is spoiled, the youngest child is also spoiled because they want attention, and the middle children are left behind or ignored.
Cons: being lonely during play time in your younger years. if you're the only child in the whole immediate family dynamic, family gatherings can be loathsome if the family does not engage with you or sends you off to play.
Studies have shown that self-esteem reaches a peak in one's 50s or 60s, and then sharply drops in old age (4–7).
The "777 rule for kids" has two main meanings in parenting: one focuses on daily connection time (7 mins morning, 7 mins after school, 7 mins before bed) for feeling seen and valued, while another defines developmental stages (0-7 play, 7-14 teach, 14-21 guide) for parents to tailor their involvement. A third variation suggests limiting screen time to 7 hours/week, maintaining 7 feet distance, and avoiding screens 7 days before events. All aim to build stronger parent-child bonds through intentional, focused interaction or developmentally appropriate parenting roles.
Foster and his colleagues administered two measures of narcissism to 8,689 college students, finding no differences between people who grew up with versus without siblings. They also found no differences in specific facets of narcissism, such as arrogance or entitlement (Personality and Individual Differences, Vol.
A recent privatelyfunded study of more than 20,000 American adults aged 18 years and over (Cigna, 2018) used a 20-item loneliness scale and found that loneliness levels were greatest in young adulthood (18-22 years old) and gradually decreased with age such that the lowest levels of loneliness were found in older ...
Relationship issues may be overwhelming
“Only children may not have as much tolerance and resilience to get through a disagreement,” she says. So keep in mind that your partner may need more space or time during intense discussions and disagreements.
The #1 worst habit for anxiety isn't singular, but avoidance (procrastination), poor sleep, and negative thought patterns (like catastrophizing) are top contenders, creating vicious cycles where anxiety fuels these behaviors, and the behaviors, in turn, worsen anxiety by preventing healthy coping and creating more stress. Other significant habits include excessive caffeine, poor diet, too much screen time, and social withdrawal, all disrupting the body's ability to manage stress effectively.
Teas for stress and anxiety relief
Anxiety can begin in children as early as preschool age. If your child shows signs like frequent worry, sleep issues, or avoidance of daily activities, it's a good idea to speak with a pediatric provider about anxiety treatment for kids as early as possible.
As the youngest of 3 and having 3 kids myself. It's probably hardest being the oldest but very close to being the middle. Oldest has to take on much more responsibility to help the younger ones and expectations are always higher because they are the oldest. Youngest has it easy.
A Norwegian study looked at couples who married between 1980 and 2000 and found that marriages between two first-born children were most likely to end in divorce whilst marriages between first borns and last borns are the most successful marriages.
The American Sociological Association recently conducted a study on this very topic and found that parents are more likely to be depressed than their childfree counterparts. In fact, people without kids were happier than any other group, including empty nesters.
Later-born children have lower IQ on average, and the differences are quite large. For example, the difference between first-born and second-born average IQ is on the order of one fifth of a standard deviation.
Disorganized attachment appears particularly common in only children, with around 25% of only children claiming they have this attachment style. A smaller 20% of only children identify as having an avoidant attachment, and 17% as anxiously attached.
Firstborn and only children more likely to face anxiety, depression, study finds. Birth order plays a role in mental health, according to a new study. Being the eldest sibling or being an only child may be linked to anxiety and depression in kids as young as age 8, according to a new study.