Narcissists engage in mirroring as a manipulative tactic to lure in and manipulate others to serve their own needs. They mirror to: Form their own sense of identity. Gain your trust and create a sense of intimacy.
People with NPD engage in narcissistic mirroring for three primary reasons: They lack a defined identity and are trying on yours. They are working to win you over, reflecting back what they think you want to see. They are faking intimacy, because they lack the skills and desire for genuine connection.
You're sat there thinking “Oh my god, I have so much in common with this person!”, but in reality, it's a facade. Narcissistic mirroring often involves non-verbal communication too. Whether you lean forward, back, or to the side, they mirror that. If you talk fast and loud, they talk fast and loud.
“If the other person's mirroring isn't leading you to a comfort zone, but instead leading you somewhere you don't want to be, that's a red flag. They're making you feel like you need to like them, instead of like you want to,” she continues.
Examples of Mirroring. Posture - When having a conversation, you may find you're mimicking the other person's movements and posture. For example, if they cross their legs, you do too. Tone of voice - If the person we're interacting with is talking in a slow, calm manner, we tend to adopt that tone as well.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Deep down, the narcissist views themself as flawed and unlovable. So if you love them, they view you as imperfect, making you the target of their punishment. Their self-hatred and shame transfer onto you. They choose you because you are more easily manipulated or accommodating to their needs.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.
Did you feel as if they were looking into your very soul with their intense gaze? Narcissists will often use this intense stare to introduce a sense of closeness. Staring deeply into another person's eyes is intimate and even sexual.
Flying Monkeys are Used to Exert Control Over Someone
Abuse by proxy is one of the common manipulation strategies narcissists use to spread gossip and lies about their victims.
Mirroring is a tactic many narcissists and other manipulative people often employ in order to ingratiate themselves. They reflect idealized versions of their targets back to them. In a way, they get you to fall in love with a simulacrum of the best version of yourself.
A person with narcissistic personality or narcissistic traits frequently uses manipulation tactics to influence and control others. Common examples of this include gaslighting, triangulation, love bombing, and many others.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.
They like people who are strong
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist
Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
Related. For others, mirroring is a manipulative tactic for achieving selfish, devious or damaging purposes. People with Machiavellian traits may use it to improve their social status or align others with their purposes.
Mirroring can also involve repeating words or phrases to show that you are paying attention and engaged in what they are saying. It may also involve mirroring someone's pace or tone of voice. If the customer speaks slowly and you naturally talk quickly, try slowing down your speech to match theirs.
This is known as 'mirroring'. When someone does this, it marks good communication and shows us that our interest is reciprocated. Mirroring also happens when talking to close friends as well as potential lovers, so be careful as you may misread signs of friendship as signs of love.