False Accusations. Narcissists will often beat their opponent to court by falsely projecting their issues onto the opponent. This false accusation forces the opponent to be on the defensive and causes the court system to frown when the opponent makes a similar charge against the narcissist.
Narcissists are also bold enough to accuse you of a trait they know they are culpable of. They do this in order to make you feel you are wrong and they are blind. But no matter how convincing or confident they may sound, never accept their false accusations.
Offer a short, straightforward rebuttal. Respond, don't react, by giving your retort with a cool confidence. You may be tempted to lash out at the absurd accusations a narcissist throws at you, but that's what they want. Don't give them the satisfaction.
People with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits tend to blame others for their own bad behavior. If they are lying, then they will accuse others of lying. If they are cruel, they will say that others are cruel.
Simply put, the NPD lies in order to inflate his or her own self-esteem. They lie to the other person, to beat them. By inflating truths, they attempt to make their own skills or abilities seem superior to the other person.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
Accusations: When you're in a relationship with a narcissistic abuser, you may be accused of lying, stealing, cheating, or other negative behaviors. Being wrongfully accused can put you on the defensive, which can help deflect from the behaviors and actions of someone with NPD.
Here are some examples of blame-shifting phrases so you can be on the lookout for this tactic from the narcissist: “If you wouldn't have said that then I wouldn't have called you names!” “If you weren't always nagging me then I wouldn't have cheated on you!” “You always do that!”
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
There are many reasons why a narcissist uses a smear campaign, and they often vary depending on the nature of the relationship with the victim. Usually they revolve around a need for revenge, a goal to discredit the target, and the narcissist's own lack of compassion and empathy.
When a narcissist's position has been exposed as false, arbitrary, or untenable, he will suddenly become evasive, articulate half-truths, lie, flat-out contradict themselves and freely rewrite history (making things up as they go along). This is why at such times they don't seem like adults so much as 6-year-olds.
In fact, many narcissists claim to be the innocent victim of a person who is actually their victim—someone they have been abusing. Narcissists can convince themselves of almost anything if it protects their self-esteem.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
The narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its importance. If this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to denial and repression of the humiliating material. He "forgets" all about it, gets it out of his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it.
MD. While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
It's because they are manipulators and purposely twist any conversation to maintain control over the other person and deprive them of a voice. The narcissist uses a word salad when they are confronted with something that they do not want to talk about or if they are being called out.
If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage.