If you are involved with a narcissist, then you are quite used to being lied to. Their constant lies simply come with the territory. To a normal person, it may be very perplexing to be lied to all the time by someone who purports to care for you. Learn about what the narcissist seems to gain from telling lies all time.
Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing because they lack normal human emotions or inhibitions. They are insensitive and bored, lack the willingness to show empathy for others, and feel neither shame nor remorse. This coldness of feeling also allows them to lie with minimal inhibitions.
Narcissists lie to maintain power and control over the people they interact with. They are driven by an intense need for admiration, attention, and adoration, which can never be fully satisfied; therefore, their lies protect against any perceived threat of being exposed as inadequate or phony.
In addition to deflecting blame, they will devalue you and make you wish you had never confronted them. Devaluing is a huge part of the narcissistic relationship. When it comes to devaluing you, catching them in a lie will be no different than dealing with any other conflict.
If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage.
Calling out the narcissist really has no benefit. They won't start to acknowledge their wrongs and make efforts to change. By calling them out, you just open yourself up to more abuse from the narcissist. This might be hard to hear because this means you are left with no way to be heard for how you are being treated.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Not all narcissists are cheaters, but rates of infidelity are higher among them, which may concern people who are in a relationship with a narcissist. Your partner may show less interest in you, signs of inappropriate online behavior, flirt with others in front of you, and become defensive when you question them.
And vulnerable narcissists, who freely admit to feeling bad about themselves, are not exaggerating; they really do feel bad about themselves. In general, then, narcissists seem to be pretty honest when they tell you how they're feeling.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Narcissists value fame, beauty, and success more than relationships. Sure, they date and have friends and often these relationships start out exciting — but fizzle quickly. “People who are narcissistic should have a trail of bad relationships behind them,” Campbell said.
Often, they keep deviating from the topic or shift the blame. You could say that narcissists act have overinflated egos and perceive things differently; this is why they might perceive the lies as their truth and act accordingly. Thus, they do not believe they lie and distort the truth.
Narcissists and sociopaths are masters of pathological lying. They gain a sense of duping delight from being able to pull the wool over the eyes of their many romantic prospects. Sometimes, they lie to protect themselves and to prevent themselves from being caught cheating.
They just can't stop them. With narcissists, as we've seen, there is usually a reason for the lies – and sometimes even a deliberate manipulative strategy. So while narcissists lie frequently, the narcissistic liar is not a pathological liar, in the strictest sense.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Narcissism tends to emerge as a psychological defence in response to excessive levels of parental criticism, abuse or neglect in early life. Narcissistic personalities tend to be formed by emotional injury as a result of overwhelming shame, loss or deprivation during childhood.
Drinking alcohol lowers inhibitions and can increase other narcissist behaviors including self-absorption, denial, illusions of grandeur, and destructiveness. These behaviors can lead to poor choices, including drinking and driving or excessive consumption, which can be fatal.
Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist and licensed therapist, wants anyone who is in a narcissistic relationship to stop saying one phrase: "You make me feel." It's a way of expressing yourself that has many permutations, like 'when you say that, you make me feel guilty,' or 'when you do that, you make me feel angry.
In truth, Narcissists live more than a double life considering how they're presenting themselves to different crowds, wearing different masks. A spouse sees one variation, while friends, business partners, and family members may see an entirely different one.
Simply put, the NPD lies in order to inflate his or her own self-esteem. They lie to the other person, to beat them. By inflating truths, they attempt to make their own skills or abilities seem superior to the other person.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.