Hidden assets: The narcissist may hide assets, transfer money into secret accounts, or undervalue their assets to reduce the amount of money they have to pay in a divorce settlement.
Hiding assets.
They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
Readily revealing themselves while in the midst of familiar, grandiose states of mind, narcissists tend to hide what they consider shameful signs of weakness, deficiency, or failure.
As a general rule, a narcissist will hide money from others for their own personal gain. Outside of their lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, sense of specialness, and incurable need to manipulate and exploit others, there isn't a logical explanation for their desire to hide money from others.
Being secretive and private, allows the narcissist to remain 3 steps ahead of others, and catch them out by surprise when the narcissist does decide its time to make their move. Being secretive and private, allows the narcissist to plan the next “big adventure”, without anyone suspecting a thing.
It is easy to be tricked by the covert narcissist because unlike the classic narcissist that many of us have learned to recognize with their charm, flash, attention-seeking ostentatious presentation, the covert narcissist is stealth. These people tend to be more introverted and subtle, so they can be easy to miss.
They Have Grandiose Fantasies
On the outside, a person with covert narcissism will seem quiet, meek, and self-critical. However, on the inside, they feel an intense sense of specialness. Despite their jealousy, envy, and apparent shyness, covert narcissists will believe they are better than everyone else.
Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
In the first place, narcissists believe that they are above the law. As a result, their unethical behavior may sometimes include lying, stealing, or embezzling money while justifying it fully.
Controlling access to funds: The narcissist may control the access to joint bank accounts, credit cards, or other financial resources, leaving their partner without access to the money they need to live.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
This point is taken from Malkin's book, Rethinking Narcissism, in which he describes the narcissist's “stealth control” as one red flag. In the early stages of a relationship, he may simply change up plans you've already made, substituting something else which he bills as “better” or more fun or glamorous.
Although they are not always sneaky, some covert narcissists can take joy in creating confusion. They may not engage in blaming or shaming, but instead, causing people to question their perceptions and second-guess themselves. This is another way to create leverage between them and another person.
In romantic relationships and family settings a narcissist will control others with money through employment sabotage, economic exploitation, and controlling the finances and in the workplace they will create power imbalances to keep people trapped.
Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others—to put themselves in other people's shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs.
Yes, most narcissists are relatively stingy and protective over their money. They don't willingly hand over what they have. However, this greed extends beyond self-preservation. Because narcissists lack empathy for others, they don't necessarily understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
Lying is a common tactic used by narcissists because it works so effectively to achieve their goals without risking any damage to their self-image.
People with NPD have a grandiose sense of self. They typically feel like they're important — and often more important than others. They commonly seek out attention and aim to be the center of everyone's attention, often putting themselves before others. But at its core, NPD is defined by a lack of empathy for others.
Use Self-Deprecating Tactics
Among many other things covert narcissists do, a hallmark of their eccentricity is using false humility or self-deprecating comments to garner people's attention and seek validation. They trivialize their skills and accomplishments, so people reassure them or shower them with praise.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Narcissists lie effortlessly and are very convincing because they lack normal human emotions or inhibitions. They are insensitive and bored, lack the willingness to show empathy for others, and feel neither shame nor remorse. This coldness of feeling also allows them to lie with minimal inhibitions.