Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
A person who recognizes and seeks to understand jealousy may articulate it and access reassurance constructively. Defending against the unpleasant emotion by projecting, acting out vindictively, or controlling a partner might be narcissistic.
Results revealed that grandiose narcissists induce jealousy as means to acquire power and control, but vulnerable narcissists induce jealousy as a means to acquire power and control, exact revenge on the partner, test and strengthen the relationship, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem.
“The common characteristic of all kinds of narcissistic love is mania, characterized by possessiveness, obsession, and jealousy,” Dinić told PsyPost.
A narcissist can attach to a parent, child, spouse, friend, and/or business partner. Basically, it is anyone willing to give the narcissist an unlimited supply of attention, admiration, affection, or appreciation.
Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you. The narcissist thinks it reflects well on them to have someone special, skilled, or capable interested in them.
What they found was that the grandiose narcissists rarely used jealousy to bolster low self-esteem (they already had plenty). Instead, they were more prone to test or attempt to strengthen their relationships with jealousy in very deliberate ways. Trust test!
"They often gravitate towards those who can serve their needs, whether it's through admiration and validation or providing a sense of control and power," she said. "It's a complex dynamic, and understanding it can be helpful in navigating relationships with individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits."
One clear sign of insecurity is when they tell stories about themselves doing amazing things or meeting famous people. A story like this can be used to show off their achievements and impress others around them. These grandiose fantasies are a way for the narcissist to feel important or special.
If you have the tendency to doubt yourself, it is very easy for a narcissist to push your buttons and manipulate you into submission. They can create self-doubt by playing on your insecurities and weak points.
New research suggests that people who have a high level of narcissistic traits strategically induce jealousy in their mates as a way to meet certain goals: Control, in some cases, or a boost in their self-esteem.
They tend to want to be the best and seem the happiest at the expense of another person's well-being. You might notice that they use detrimental behavior to devalue the happy people around them. This is likely because they want to stand out and do what they can to gain higher status and make others unhappy.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Narcissists are attracted to dynamic and appealing partners, individuals who appear as if they have high self-esteem but who also have a "pocket" or two of low self-esteem.
One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
Some may learn to be self-aware in time, and learn to notice when they are hurting you. But this still doesn't guarantee they will care. "Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said.
A narcissist might also get into a new relationship right away to cope with the pain of breaking up with you. Feeling that there's someone else giving them attention and praise might help them heal a bruised ego or return from a narcissistic collapse.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Compliment them when they are warm. And compliment them for their warmth — not for achievement or performance. From Rethinking Narcissism: The Bad — and Surprising Good — About Feeling Special: …
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.