Some narcissists - though by no means the majority - actually ENJOY abusing, taunting, tormenting, and freakishly controlling others ("gaslighting"). But most of them do these things absentmindedly, automatically, and, often, even without good reason.
They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness. These emotions, however, don't often have roots in empathy.
Key points. Narcissists do not feel guilty about abusing their loved ones because they convince themselves that whatever they do is justified. Narcissistic defenses are designed to distort reality and protect narcissists from seeing their flaws and mistakes.
Because they have low self-esteem, any perceived judgment can damage a narcissist's sense of self. Narcissists often react to an emotional wound with rage outbursts, passive-aggression, or denial to protect themselves from future harm.
Malignant narcissists use torture and abuse as a means of punishment for perceived slights and to re-establish their sense of superiority and control. If there isn't even something neutral they can use as a reason to cause someone pain, they will create conflict and keep escalating it until they have an excuse.
They Face a Setback, Disappointment, or Conflict
A narcissist can become easily enraged if a setback occurs in their life, job, or relationship. Not getting their way results in both a loss of control and a bruised ego.
Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge. But, it should not be your primary motivation. The most essential thing here is to be mature enough to let go of toxic individuals in your life, no matter how difficult it is.
Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.
MD. While being the target of narcissistic abuse is stressful and hurtful, many narcissists are unaware of how their actions impact others. If they are aware that others feel negatively about them or about their choices, they often lack the ability to take responsibility for their actions or see them as wrong.
They experienced higher levels of negative emotions and walked away with particularly negative views of their ex-partner. So if you're ending a relationship with a narcissist, you may find them either especially nonchalant about the breakup or especially upset. Gwendolyn Seidman, Ph.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Shame makes narcissists feel insecure and inadequate―vulnerable feelings that they must deny to themselves and others. This is one reason that they can't take criticism, responsibility, dissent, or negative feedback even when meant to be constructive. Instead, they demand unconditional, positive regard from others.
The reality is that most people with narcissistic personality disorder have a perfectly adequate memory. It is just highly selective and focused on what they want to be true.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
They want to see how much they can destroy you
Narcissists thrive on chaos, so they do not act out of jealousy, as that would imply they want your relationships, career, wealth, or health for themselves. Rather, they just don't want to see other people happy.
Dehumanizing. Much like authoritarian regimes, narcissists classify others as inferior, unworthy, or evil to justify oppressing or attacking them. They may devalue you through dismissive remarks or hostile humor or treat you as “other,” seeking to make you feel subhuman and alone.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
Narcissists Deliberately Hurt You to Regulate Their Own Negative Emotions. Outside of a steady flow of validation, admiration, and reassurance, the reason that narcissists seek out victims is to turn them into repositories for their own suppressed negative emotions.
Silent Treatment
This is very effective that makes the loved one distressed. They'll react negatively to not receiving the attention or love they are addicted to getting from the narcissist.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.