Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
A narcissist will always devalue you. Many will discard you. The relationship will never be healthy and functional. And there's nothing you can give or do to change that.
The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time. He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.
As a general rule, narcissists will come back after discarding you. But sadly, this isn't because they love, care about, or miss you.
Narcissists often cycle between idealizing and devaluing someone in what feels like a hot/cold relationship before moving to the final stage. Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.”
That said, a narcissist typically activates the discard phase once they start losing control over you. Minimizing you becomes the easy way out once they realize you're no longer providing them with narcissistic fuel/supply. Otherwise, it's because you keep inflicting narcissistic wounds on their fragile ego.
The narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about your feelings at all. If you are feeling lost, confused, or devastated after being discarded. Then, is important to talk about it with someone who has been through the same experience before.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Narcissists will never miss you because they do not develop healthy feelings for people. They only care about themselves. They have almost zero emotional attachment to other people and only care about themselves. However, they will miss the way you make them feel.
Narcissists Feel Rejected, Humiliated, and Abandoned After Being Discarded By You. As we've already mentioned in the previous section, narcissists have many painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions suppressed within themselves.
They portray themselves as independent and someone who doesn't need others, they are afraid of emotions, intimacy, and emotional closeness, and they get frustrated when their needs aren't met. All of this allows them to discard people they've been connected with for months, years, even decades effortlessly.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
Narcissists can't bear to lose and they may see you ignoring them as a loss. This is too bruising to their inflated egos so they will pursue you even harder, using charm and flattery to lure you back in. They might tell you that they miss you and try to 'love bomb' you again and use other 'hoovering' techniques.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
The “devaluation” phase refers to the narcissist skillfully destroying their victim's self-esteem and sense of self to increase the power they have over them. This loss of self makes the victim feel as though they have no other option but to stay with the narcissist.
The best response that you can have to a narcissist's discard is to learn about narcissistic abuse, improve your self-esteem, improve your self-confidence, practice self-love, learn how to grow as a person, and learn how to protect yourself from narcissistic abuse.
How long does it take a narcissist to come back? In most cases, the narcissist will come back at you immediately after you put in place the no contact rule. Considering how important their ego is to them and how they need that constant attention from their partner, they would come for you immediately.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
A narcissist will target a victim who will forgive them over and over for being hurtful. Typically, people who stay in relationships with narcissists are kind and forgiving. They tend to overlook the bad, seeing mainly the good in other people. So, they will always find excuses for a narcissist's abusive behavior.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
Narcissist Discard and Silent Treatment
The narcissist will give you the silent treatment after discard as a way to punish you. Ignoring someone is the most effective way to hurt someone.