Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person. Sometimes, this ending is final.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Once they don't need you to fuel their ego anymore, a narcissist will discard and abandon you. Also, if you decide to stand for yourself, set boundaries, and ask for reciprocity, a narcissist will discard you with no apology, empathy, or remorse.
The final discard is generally when the narcissist leaves you, often for the first time. He or she may end the relationship, or the individual will just up and leave out of nowhere with no explanation, leaving you to wonder what happened.
Narcissists will never miss you because they do not develop healthy feelings for people. They only care about themselves. They have almost zero emotional attachment to other people and only care about themselves. However, they will miss the way you make them feel.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.”
As a general rule, narcissists will come back after discarding you. But sadly, this isn't because they love, care about, or miss you.
That said, a narcissist typically activates the discard phase once they start losing control over you. Minimizing you becomes the easy way out once they realize you're no longer providing them with narcissistic fuel/supply. Otherwise, it's because you keep inflicting narcissistic wounds on their fragile ego.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Instead of turning to a person they love in such moments for comfort or compassion, the narcissist avoids any intimacy for fear of further exposure. Instead, they verbally lash out at the person who is most likely to be supportive. When the narcissist receives any resistance or discomfort, they leave.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
During the discard phase, the narcissist may drop the façade of being a charming, loving, and caring person. They might become increasingly aggressive towards you, showing their true vindictive and hostile colors. You might blame yourself and try everything you can to make things go back to how they used to be.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
When a narcissist discards you, it is abusive because they are trying to hurt you. When you discard a narcissist, it is an act of self-love because you are trying to protect yourself from them. As a general rule, if the narcissist is the one who discarded you, they will feel powerful, superior, and dominant.
Narcissists can't bear to lose and they may see you ignoring them as a loss. This is too bruising to their inflated egos so they will pursue you even harder, using charm and flattery to lure you back in. They might tell you that they miss you and try to 'love bomb' you again and use other 'hoovering' techniques.
At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
The narcissist discards people for their benefit and they do not care about your feelings at all. If you are feeling lost, confused, or devastated after being discarded. Then, is important to talk about it with someone who has been through the same experience before.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
Narcissistic rage is common for those with NPD as they grow increasingly angry with any display of vulnerability. This anger can be triggered when they are “called out,” their image has been damaged, or their shortcomings or wrongdoings are highlighted.
Narcissist Discard and Silent Treatment
The narcissist will give you the silent treatment after discard as a way to punish you. Ignoring someone is the most effective way to hurt someone.
This is part of the devaluation stage of narcissistic abuse. The narcissist wants to make you feel less of a person. There are many ways the narcissist can devalue, but one is through this control of blocking you and the silent treatment that comes with it.