According to U.S. statistics, 87 percent of couples who legally separate eventually get a divorce, while only 13 percent choose to come back together.
Depending on your relationship and the reasons you separated, there's still a chance you can work things out and get your marriage back on track. Statistics show that while 87 percent of separated couples end their relationship in divorce, the remaining 13 percent are able to reconcile post-separation.
According to new research, almost 50 percent of couples break up, and then get back together again. Yeah, that's a little messy, but there are upsides to splitting up before settling down for the long haul, according to Sheri Meyers, PsyD, author of Chatting or Cheating.
Statistical research shows that the average length of separation before reconciliation is six to eight months. Thus, it is a safe period when the spouses can cool off and decide whether they want to give their marriage another chance or get a divorce.
Spouses can restore their marriage after separation if both of them are willing to work hard and do it positively. It can be challenging because separation is a stressful and insecure period when negative emotions can go off the charts. But a commitment to a joint goal can help them grow to reconciliation.
A recent study concluded that while the vast majority of married couples who separate will eventually divorce (within three years), approximately 15% remain separated indefinitely, even past the 10-year mark.
Separation means that you are living apart from your spouse but are still legally married until you get a judgment of divorce. Although a separation doesn't end your marriage, it does affect the financial responsibilities between you and your spouse before the divorce is final.
Living apart together is not just for unmarried couples, though. Many married couples are sick of living with each other and have decided to stay married but live in separate houses. This living situation has helped stave off divorce for many couples and even improve their marriages.
In California, there is no required separation period before you can get divorced. That means that you and your spouse are able to decide you want to get a divorce and, on the same day, file for divorce.
If you don't see any financial benefit from a legal separation and are certain you want to end your marriage, it might be best to go straight to a divorce. Otherwise, you'll spend time and money getting a legal separation only to have to go through the process all over again to get a divorce.
A trial separation can give you and your partner a chance to respect one another's view of your problems—even if you feel that they're wrong or shouldn't feel the way they do. One thing is almost certain. If you and your partner are not willing to compromise, then the relationship isn't likely to improve.
When ignoring your spouse during divorce, the first rule is to make no contact at the initial stage. Communicating with spouse during separation or after filing for divorce can undermine the divorce process. As long as you discuss it with your spouse, you'll find it challenging to break up with them.
Some couples choose to stay married even after legally separating and leading separate lives. Reasons to stay legally married include for tax and insurance purposes, or because divorce is simply too expensive.
Come Up With A Time Frame
Ideally, psychologists recommend that a trial separation last no more than three to six months. The longer you spend apart from your spouse, the harder it will be for you to get back together.
Research has found the most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse.
A "separation" is when a couple decides to live apart from each other because the relationship has broken down. The couple may be married, or they may be unmarried but living together like a married couple in a common-law relationship. A "divorce" is when a court officially ends a marriage.
I have also noted that client's have shown five distinct emotional stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Whilst this may not be true for everyone, certain feelings and behaviours can often resonate to identify these stages. Denial – A state of “shell shock”, a coping mechanism.
To do that, make sure that you let your wife know that you care about her and that you miss her. Make her feel that you value your relationship and are willing to do whatever it takes to fix whatever is broken within your marriage. Another thing that may benefit your relationship during separation is therapy.
It's worth remembering that any arrangements made during separation aren't permanent. Keep in mind the best interests of your kids and how to meet their needs, including who will pay for what.