While introverts may appear to lack social skills or be antisocial, neither is true. Their style of social interaction is simply different from that of extroverts. They tend to listen more than they talk and are excellent listeners.
Being an introvert doesn't mean you aren't outgoing in the right situation. Being an introvert just means that you prefer socializing differently than extroverts. Typical introverts like to spend social time with small groups rather than large ones, which may feel overwhelming and draining to them.
Though the stereotype exists that introverts are shy and socially awkward, Introverts can definitely have social skills. Introverts do like to socialize in either a one to one situation or in small groups where there is a meaningful discussion going on.
More importantly, the understanding that introverts lack social skills are not necessarily true. Many introverts function very well in social situations (Costa and McCrae, 2006), although they might prefer to avoid them due to the overwhelming feeling by too much social engagement (Helgoe, 2008).
Introverts: Those with a preference for introversion tend to think they're communicating more than they are. The quality of their communications is sound, but the quantity is lower than needed. When introverts communicate, it's typically effective, but they usually don't communicate often enough.
Being an introvert is often considered weak. They aren't quite as good as the extroverts, who just seem to breeze through life. But that's not true, there is nothing wrong with being an introvert. The main problem is with society, which doesn't see it in the same way.
Unlike shy people, Introverts are not necessarily bound by fear. If Introverts choose not to speak, it's because they prefer not to rather than because they are afraid. The other side of that coin is that there is nothing basic to their makeup that stops Introverts from talking as much as they like.
Introverts can experience a bit of anxiety when they need to speak in social situations. Introducing themselves, talking to a stranger or public speaking are mentally draining for them. These are the examples of a definitely stressful situation out of their comfort zone.
Angry Introverts are in a sensitive state, and they can easily become overstimulated by too much social contact. Interestingly, Introverts won't usually respond to their anger by leaving altogether.
There's a common misconception that introverts aren't social. In fact, introverts can be just as social as extroverts. The difference between the two is that introverts lose energy when they're around people and recharge by spending time alone, while extroverts gain energy by spending time with other people.
Not all introverts are the same.
Whenever we think of introverts, we usually think of someone with a shy nature, who is not quite chatty or talkative. Yet, some introverts seem to be pretty talkative. Still, this kind of introvert needs personal time to recharge their batteries.
One study found that introverts may actually have better interpersonal skills than extroverts. Since they often spend their time observing others, they are usually better at predicting reactions from others in social situations. This allows them to read others and respond appropriately.
It's not easy being an introvert. Little things that don't bother extroverts — like hanging out in groups, unexpected phone calls, and being put on the spot — can chip away at your energy.
Perhaps the toughest part of being an introvert is not so much talking about yourself, but rather wishing you were better at talking about yourself.
67% of introverts surveyed(1) believe they are disadvantaged in business because of being introverted. A causal factor is the negative perception of introversion portrayed, leading to people thinking of the negative traits of introverts.
If you're an introvert, you struggle with finding quiet time to gather your thoughts, particularly at brainstorming meetings. Find quiet places to think, and take breaks just for a change of scenery and a chance to gather your thoughts. Ask for agendas prior for meetings to help you prepare your key points.
While most survey respondents, regardless of personality traits, say they prefer to cry when they're alone, Introverts are more likely than Extraverts to say so. Introverts are more comfortable crying alone or with a small group of friends, while Extraverts may be more at home with public crying.
On average, introverts and extroverts are the same in terms of intelligence. But statistics show that around 70% of gifted people are introverts. People are considered “gifted” when they exhibit above-average intelligence or a superior talent for something, such as music, art or math.
Someone who is introverted is not fearful of being around people, spending too long around people may be draining for them. Because someone is introverted it doesn't automatically mean that they lack confidence, they lack self-belief, or that they are shy.
It's yet another form of (dreaded) small talk.
One of the main reasons some introverts don't like texting is because they don't like small talk — and that includes small talk through texting.
Many people think of introverts as shy, but the two aren't linked. Introversion is a personality type, while shyness is an emotion. People who are shy tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they're in social situations, especially when they're around strangers. They may feel so nervous, they become sweaty.
They think before they speak
Because introverts typically feel less comfortable speaking than they do listening, they choose their words wisely, according to Buelow. “We only speak when we have something to say, so there is a higher chance that we will have an impact with our words,” she says.
Introverts seek depth in relationships rather than breadth. Introverts need time to recharge and reflect following time socialising, for example, after a busy day at school or a birthday party. Just because introverts are quiet doesn't mean they lack vibrancy are cold-hearted or standoffish.
Leaders are often described in terms synonymous with extroversion: outgoing, gregarious, forceful, dynamic. But often, the best leaders are introverts who possess a quiet power. Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Warren Buffett, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg are just a few examples.
Introverts can be perfectly happy on their own, or terribly lonely in a crowd. A lot of the time, introverts need solitude and quiet to recharge themselves. This can make it harder for them to create and maintain social connections, and there can be a point where “alone” becomes “lonely”.