Even close friendship can be difficult because, at a certain level, friendship requires vulnerability. Emotionally unavailable people find banter, or their shared history with someone, easier to cope with so they'll often keep a friendship at a slight distance. Sadly, it means their friends will never fully know them.
In other words, an emotionally unavailable person may not be able to relate to you, put themselves in your shoes, or consider your feelings when making a decision. This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs.
' If not managed with enough care and awareness, being with an emotionally unavailable partner can be damaging, and it leads not only to feelings of loneliness and isolation but can even erode your self-esteem. Therefore, as much as possible, we should learn how to notice when a partner is emotionally unavailable.
Emotionally unavailable people tend to keep their partners and loved ones at arm's length, rarely opening up or sharing their true emotional experience, and often leaving relationships before they get serious.
Emotional Unavailable People are Not Always Toxic. An emotionally unavailable is someone who finds it difficult to share feelings and to get genuinely close to another. It doesn't mean they don't have feelings — they do — but they can't access or express them, often both.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
An Emotionally unavailable person often has a fear or a blockage to emotional intimacy, leaving the other person feeling like they are grasping for more, left feeling misunderstood, emotionally unsatisfied and confused.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
Dating unavailable people might be a defense mechanism and a barrier against developing intimacy with someone. If they're unavailable, your relationship will never progress to the point where they can profoundly wound you. And that's what I realized I was doing with my ex.
They go from hot to cold
People who are emotionally unavailable tend to confuse their partners with their inconsistent behavior. They vacillate between being very hot and into the relationship one second, only to go totally cold the next. This can feel uncomfortable and scary.
While being emotionally unavailable is usually a choice, sometimes a mental health issue can also "prevent someone from being able to recognize their own feelings, let alone those of people who care about them," adds Neblett.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Additionally, it gives them justification for their own actions. Emotionally unavailable men use manipulation quite often. Next time you notice something like that is happening, point it out immediately. Let him know that you're aware of his intentions and that you won't allow being manipulated.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
For example, instead of coming off as aloof, an emotionally unavailable person can be really happy and excited to see you, but they won't remember what's important to you or details about your life. In essence, they'll be thrilled to spend time with you, but they won't consider you when you're not together.
Coping With Emotional Unavailability
It could be situational due to a recent trauma or loss. In this case, it's important to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to process what happened.
Cancer. It's probably no surprise that the most emotional zodiac sign is also the most vulnerable. "Ruled by the mysterious and changeable Moon, Cancers have a hard time keeping their anxieties and insecurities under control, and are very easily hurt by people," explains Clare.
Virgos tops the list of less expressive zodiac signs. The people who come under this zodiac sign will never speak about what is going on inside their hearts, no matter what! They will always accept the situation and bury their feelings deep so that no one can ever make them utter.
The person who is emotionally unavailable rarely realises the pain and confusion caused to the very person they want to hurt the least. But they see their emotions as negative or unnecessary and internalise them to the extent that they become unaware of their own feelings or needs beyond the physical.
At different times and under various circumstances we, as human beings will have varying amounts of emotional depth to give to each other.