He might not be touchy-feely; emotionally unavailable men aren't big fans of PDA, and that probably won't change right away when he falls in love. Still, he'll initiate physical closeness to show you that he has feelings for you.
The answer is yes. They can fall in love, but it can be tricky to spot their love signals. Read on to find out what signs to look out for if you suspect your guy has fallen for you, and tips on how to make an emotionally unavailable guy fall in love.
Difficulty Showing Non-Sexual Affection
Emotionally distant men can view physical touch as overwhelming or unnecessary unless it leads to sex or is part of sex. They don't often initiate hugging, cuddling, or hand-holding.
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
"Another reason someone might attract someone emotionally unavailable is because they have low self-esteem. For whatever reason (body image issues, experience of being bullied, job instability, addiction, or mental health issues), they may not believe they are worthy of love and commitment," she says.
Emotionally unavailable men are seeking for perfection for one reason only: they're deeply insecure. Since they're insecure and don't want to show any sign of a vulnerable exposure, they will comfort themselves with the thought that 'no one is good enough' and they don't need to open up to anyone.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
An emotionally unavailable man may miss you when you take a break from the relationship, are away from his immediate reach, or feel detached from you. Research has shown that although emotionally unavailable, the emotionally unavailable man is not without feelings.
#9 He Gets Jealous
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. What is this? Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
When you ignore a man who's emotionally unavailable, it will start bothering him to such a degree that he'll start feeling depressed and anxious. He will try to figure things out on his own and won't turn to friends or family for advice.
Key points. Women who fall for unavailable men usually feel that they are more committed to the relationship than the men are. Women who fall for unavailable men most often have profound insecurities, believing if the man eventually commits, they will finally be "worthy."
If you know your man loves you and if he's told you as much, then he might be pulling away from a relationship because he's simply scared of feeling this way. It could be the first time he's ever been in love with someone. For guys, this can be a difficult emotion to process.
The guy will enjoy talking to you about his day and ask about yours. He might not always reach out first, but sometimes, he will. If he never calls or texts you first and only responds when you try to initiate a conversation, it is a clear sign he is not interested in you.
While emotional availability is a key part of healthy relationships, emotional unavailability tends to be characteristic of unhealthy or even toxic relationships or patterns. After all, a critical part of forming and maintaining meaningful relationships is getting vulnerable and taking some risks with our emotions.
The best thing to do in situations like this is to understand emotionally unavailable people can't be “fixed.” They have to want better for themselves and seek the necessary help. And in many cases, it's better for the emotionally available partner to leave, at least until this happens.
Friendship.
Even close friendship can be difficult because, at a certain level, friendship requires vulnerability. Emotionally unavailable people find banter, or their shared history with someone, easier to cope with so they'll often keep a friendship at a slight distance.
For some people, shutting down emotionally is a response to feeling overstimulated. It doesn't have anything to do with you or how they feel about you. If your husband or partner shuts down when you cry, for example, it may be because they don't know the best way to handle that display of emotions.
Sometimes a man falling in love may not realize that it's happening. On the other hand, a man may realize he's falling in love immediately because he's purposefully looking for this type of relationship.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
Called the “rubber band” or the male intimacy cycle, it's when a man vacillates between being close to his partner and pulling away. Men do this for many reasons. The most important reason is to connect with their more masculine side and to focus on the activities that make them a good provider and partner.
If someone isn't willing to commit right now, sure, they can change their mind, but it's unlikely. It doesn't matter why someone might not want a relationship, but if that's what you were looking for, this can put you in quite the bind. Here's what to do if the person you're dating doesn't want a relationship.
Some guys can go on three days without talking to you. Others might even need a week and that's ok too! As long as you're comfortable with the amount of space that he needs, you don't need to worry about this.