Research in the field of infidelity reveals that there are three distinct personality types correlated with a higher likelihood of cheating: sociopaths, narcissists, and lonely hearts.
Traits of deceitfulness, manipulation and lack of remorse with zero empathy for their impact on others has been found time and time again in chronic cheaters. So how do we find ourselves in these relationships? Whether someone is a narcissist or a sociopath, or indeed both - these characteristics pair well together.
Results of a 2005 study show that there is a significant difference between cheaters and non-cheaters when it comes to the Big Five model of personality traits. Poor self control, selfishness, anger, boredom, and attention-seeking are the most common reasons a person is unfaithful in their relationship.
Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. Cheaters, like bullies, are fueled by power, and drawn to risk. This kind of behavior, however, is a reflection of something deeply rooted inside of them.
"Researchers find that partnerships characterized by dissatisfaction, unfulfilling sex, and high conflict are at higher risk for infidelity," she says. "Also, the more dissimilar partners are—in terms of personality, education level, and other factors—the more likely they are to experience infidelity."
Cheaters actually have a deep-seated fear of betrayal themselves. They often feel suspicious and rejected in relationships and use this as an excuse to step out on their partners. Cheating gives philandering folks a feeling of power and control in their lives and relationships.
That said, cheating may represent compulsive behavior and fall under the category of behavioral addictions, which may explain patterns of serial and chronic infidelity. There are limited studies examining the data between compulsive cheating and mental health disorders.
Certain personality factors often coincide with serial cheating, such as narcissism, sociopathy, and problems with impulse control. These variables tend to be fixed and pervasive across the lifespan. That means they don't usually just show up in relationships.
Cheaters often react to an accusation of cheating with denial, showing no guilt signs. This can be a simple 'no' or more of a statement of unwillingness to accept the accusation. Whatever the form, denial is likely to be one of the first responses to allegations of cheating.
People who habitually cheat may do so as a way of dealing with a fear of abandonment, which may stem from low self-esteem. They think that by being with multiple people, they won't be abandoned. Some people cheat repeatedly due to their own insecurities and a deep-seated fear that they are unlovable.
According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married. However, the gender gap varies per age.
Being insecure
Another reason why someone might cheat is because they are insecure. "Usually, in this scenario, the partner that wants to cheat is seeking out confirmation of their desirability," Winter told INSIDER. "And they use the reinforcement of a new person to bolster their own self-confidence."
It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed.
So, the individual who is least likely to cheat on their partner is conscientious, agreeable and introverted. The authors explain: “Conscientiousness refers to self-control, perseverance and sense of duty.
There were no effects of one's own infidelity and that of one's partner on reactive and anxious jealousy, but those who had been unfaithful, as well as those whose partner had been unfaithful, expressed the highest levels of possessive jealousy.
The Progression of Infidelity
Much like the stages of grief, the stages of infidelity are not always linear. For one person, it may be micro-cheating that turns into emotional infidelity, followed by physical infidelity. For another, digital infidelity may turn into physical infidelity.
A cheater, however, may get defensive because you've blown their cover, says Milrad: “It is very common for cheaters to deflect responsibility and get irritated by your questions. They often try and shut you down and even criticize you for being too controlling or suspicious.”
This behavior can be part of a personality disorder such as antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic. Other conditions, such as borderline personality disorder, may also lead to frequent lies, but these aren't considered pathological. Also, some people simply lie pathologically but have no other conditions.
Logician (INTP): Detecting Lies
That might be why Logicians are the most likely type to say they believe that most people lie on a regular basis. Besides catching blatant mistruths, people with this personality type can analyze others' behaviors and mannerisms to see who they really are.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Statistics show that only 31% of marriages last after the affair has been discovered or admitted to. People who are unfaithful to their partners regret causing their loved one so much pain and heartache. Even if the couple decides to stay together, it's very hard for them to have a trust-based, happy relationship.
For the betrayed spouse, stages of an affair being exposed can involve everything from denial, shock, reflection, depression to finally taking an upward turn.
Most definitely. The consequences of cheating in a relationship often expand beyond the marriage itself. Close friends and family aren't shy about expressing disappointment in the cheater's actions. Friends may not want to spend time with that person and family feels hurt at what their relative has done.