Gaslighting is a form of abuse used by love avoidants instilling the love addict's extreme sense of anxiety. And confusion to the point they no longer trust their own memory, perception, or judgment. The techniques love avoidants use in gaslighting are similar to those used in brainwashing, interrogation, and torture.
People with an anxious/preoccupied style of attachment, who worry and fret about signs and signals that they're about to be left or betrayed, present ideal candidates for gaslighting.
Below are the most common traits of a gaslighter: A highly-manipulative personality. Low sense of self-worth or self-esteem. Insecurities, covered up by constantly pointing out other peoples' flaws.
Abuse at the hands of someone with an avoidant personality disorder often includes psychological and emotional abuse. Don't be afraid to reach out for help, pursue support groups for loved ones, seek your own therapy, separate, or leave the relationship completely.
Those who suffer with Avoidant Personality Disorder frequently use manipulation to get their needs met. Perfectionism; nothing is good enough, the standard is set unrealistically high for themselves and often for others.
An avoidant person, with no one else to blame, may resort to narcissism (a falsely elevated sense of self), introversion (unaccountable to others), or perfectionism (rigidly accountable to self). The narcissist elevates self at the expense of others, believing self to be superior.
As a general statement, all narcissists are love avoidant, but people can be love avoidant and not be narcissists. This can be confusing. Taking a closer look at each type of person will clarify the signs to watch for in any relationship.
Much like the anxious attachment style, the avoidant attachment style is often due to early childhood experiences. Trauma that could cause avoidant attachment includes neglect. This can explain why they fear getting too close to others. Or, why they feel they have to be so independent.
Because people with an avoidant attachment style fear not being lovable or good enough, feeling criticized or judged by loved ones can be particularly painful. Especially when it comes to things that they are not so comfortable with, such as their emotions and feelings.
Avoidants tend to not want to give anything or anybody their time or their energy. If it doesn't serve them any purpose, they won't do it. So if they are with you and they are giving you their time, that is a really good indication that they care about you and they are putting you as a priority.
Highly sensitive people and empaths are more susceptible to gaslighting because they do not trust themselves and their intuitions. They doubt their own perspective even when they sense that something is wrong.
ESTPs and ENTJs have the potential to be the most toxic personality types. They have a tendency to be egotistical, competitive, and controlling. This does not mean everyone with these personality types is toxic. But it is important to be aware of these tendencies that can lead to unhealthy behavior.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.
But avoidants often feel great shame over their natural avoidant impulses, so it is very difficult for them to do this. This instinctive need to hide themselves can produce anxiety and depression, and a feeling of the need to escape.
In fact, the avoidant person may tell themselves they are doing their partner a favor. But conflict avoidant lies tend to repeat and compound until the interpersonal challenges and dynamics that led to them in the first place are dealt with and resolved.
Adults with avoidant attachment may struggle to establish close relationships as a result of being very independent and unlikely to look to others for support or help. A person who is concerned that they or their child may have avoidant attachment should speak to a therapist or doctor.
Vulnerability is one of the biggest triggers for a dismissive-avoidant due to childhood wounds. Dismissive-avoidants value independence. Any need to rely on someone else triggers a sense of weakness. Fear of being trapped and controlled by someone else.
According to Schumann and Orehek, avoidant individuals were less likely to offer a comprehensive apology. Instead, they were defensive, prone to justify their behavior, blame the other person and make excuses. The authors' results for the anxiously attached individuals were less consistent.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.
This response isn't to suggest that avoidant attachers don't feel the pain of a breakup – they do. They're just prone to pushing down their heartbreak and attempting to carry on with life as normal.
High levels of avoidance
They fear closeness to their partners and avoid them because of the possibility of rejection. They don't feel comfortable getting close to others. What is this? Avoidant adults worry about being hurt if they become too close to others.
For this reason, and the fact that they find emotional closeness difficult, avoidant adults may be more likely to have a lot of friends rather than a few close ones.
Emotional Intelligence and Avoidant Attachment
People with the avoidant attachment style are more likely than secure attachers to have low levels of emotional intelligence. This is especially the case when it comes to other peoples' emotions.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...