Some people with ADD/ADHD also have trouble maintaining everyday relationships. They often quickly become bored with their romantic partner. When the rush of new love wears off, boredom sets in, they end the relationship and seek out someone new.
Symptoms of ADHD that can cause relationship problems
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
Get stuck in a rut.
When relationships become stale or boring, they become vulnerable. Because adults with ADHD can become bored easily, stay away from “the same old thing” and look for new and different ways to bring life to your relationships.
When you begin to date someone, you may be showered with gifts, compliments, and attention; you may feel pressured to commit too quickly. This behavior is called idealizing, or “love bombing.” Devaluing.
Symptoms of ADHD can also cause relationship issues that make it harder for you and your partner to enjoy intimacy. For example, mood swings may make you more prone to arguing. Or you may zone out during conversations or arguments. That could make your partner feel like you're ignoring them.
If you have ADHD, you might find it hard to date, make friends, or parent. That's partly because good relationships require you to be aware of other people's thoughts and feelings. But ADHD can make it hard for you to pay attention or react the right way.
Due to differences in the ADHD brain, you can shift focus even more quickly, causing you to seem to lose interest in your partner or your relationship suddenly. During the early stages of a relationship, the partner affected by ADHD can focus intensely on the romance and the new partner.
Being in a relationship with a man who has ADHD can lead to misunderstandings, frustrations, and resentments. Having ADHD can pose a lot of challenges especially when this disorder often makes them seem like poor listeners, distracted partners, and forgetful persons.
Can someone with ADHD fall in love? While all kinds of people can fall in love, the experience of people with ADHD falling in love can be more intense for them. This is because the person with ADHD can hyperfocus on the person they are in love with.
Research shows that people with ADHD (among others) report higher frequencies of boredom. Contrary to what your ten-year-old says, boredom won't kill you, but it can gnaw away at your life satisfaction and can also lead to other problematic behaviors and situations.
An ADHD sufferer may be unable to pay attention to anything that isn't new, which pulls attention away from the relationship as it matures. Because he's not aware that he's doing anything wrong, the ADHD partner often doesn't respond or take the necessary steps to focus on the relationship.
ADHD boredom intolerance can cause you to seek stimulation when faced with boring activities. You may find yourself acting out, drifting off in your thoughts, or getting bored much more quickly than your peers. And when you get bored, you may have more trouble stimulating your brain and getting motivated again.
Impulsive behavior
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
Falling in Love with ADHD
It's true: Attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) has strained more than a few romantic relationships. Equally true (though less recognized) is the fact that partners with ADHD are among the most loyal, generous, engaged, and genuinely fun people you could meet.
ADHD can be a contributing factor in a wide range of marital problems. If your partner has ADD, you may feel ignored and lonely. Your partner can focus on things that interest them, but not on you. They never seem to follow through on what they agree to do.
ADHD symptoms may affect the way you relate to others. This is especially true in marriages and romantic partnerships, in which differences in perception and brain function are usually interpreted as lack of care, interest, or love.
People with ADHD have less diffusion of dopamine in the brain's synapses than do people without ADHD, so they do not get the same degree of satisfaction from doing ordinary tasks. That lack of satisfaction is felt as boredom, and it saps a person's motivation to continue.
This can include using a stress ball, doodling, taking notes (try doing so with a multi-colored pen), tapping a pen on your leg (so it doesn't make noise), or fiddling with a small stone. When heading to a boring meeting or lecture, have your fidget tools with you.
High-risk activities — driving fast, motorcycle riding, and waterskiing — motivate ADHD brains to focus. Some extreme activities, like daring ski jumps, sky-diving, or taking fast-acting street drugs, elicit a dopamine spike, the brain's most intense reward.
Social Skills in Adults with ADHD. Individuals with ADHD often experience social difficulties, social rejection, and interpersonal relationship problems as a result of their inattention, impulsivity and hyperactivity. Such negative interpersonal outcomes cause emotional pain and suffering.
ADHD does not get worse with age if a person receives treatment for their symptoms after receiving a diagnosis. If a doctor diagnoses a person as an adult, their symptoms will begin to improve when they start their treatment plan, which could involve a combination of medication and therapy.