Is it ever possible to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? If we are talking about a person who meets the criteria for NPD listed above, the answer would have to be 'no'. It's difficult to have a genuine and loving connection with someone who makes everything about themselves.
Can a Narcissist Ever Be Happy in a Relationship? While it may be possible for a narcissist to develop feelings of love towards someone else, they struggle to maintain lasting relationships due to their lack of empathy and tendency towards selfishness.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
It is a myth that people with NPD cannot change. However, while treatment may reduce symptoms, there is no cure. Additionally, people with NPD may avoid treatment, or may not present their true symptoms.
Narcissism as a personality trait doesn't require a cure or treatment. As with any other trait, change is possible and psychotherapy may help.
According to Thomaes & Brummelman, the development of narcissism begins at around the ages of 7 or 8.
Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
Narcissists typically settle down in monogamous relationships only if their partner has the ability to keep the narcissistic supply flowing freely. Partners are often viewed as “trophies” and proof of the narcissist's ability to “bag” an attractive or successful partner.
Yes, narcissists usually worsen with age. As their physical beauty or influence wanes, they struggle to maintain the admiration and attention they crave. This can lead to an intensification of their narcissistic behaviors, such as manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
The bottom line is, if you are involved with someone who has a narcissistic personality, then it is possible that they can learn to love you. Many people love narcissists and have maintained successful relationships with them. They may need to acknowledge their behaviors and take steps to rein them in, though.
They can show great interest in romantic prospects and seduce with generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. Amorous narcissists (Don Juan and Mata Hari types) are adept and persuasive lovers and may have many conquests, yet remain single.
While this is an intimidating definition, narcissistic individuals can and do fall in love and commit to romantic involvements. Research the complexities of the disorder, and you will discover such things as narcissists often experience doubts, become seriously depressed and feel shame.
We tend to feel special when we feel loved. The problem for narcissists, though, is that they don't trust that they are really loved. Most of them have never felt loved in their lives, and so they doubt that they can actually be loved.”
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
They physically abuse pets.
If a narcissist's dog has urinated on the carpet while the narcissist was out, the narcissist sees it as a personal affront—even though the narcissist left the dog alone for 12 hours. The narcissist then hits the dog and calls it names. The dog learns to fear the narcissist.
They Feel a Loss of Control
If the narcissist feels like they are losing control of the situation, a rage fit allows them to regain power over those around them.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
Not all people with narcissism are unhappy, but many can't find contentment when they aren't the center of attention.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
Some narcissists may have healthy, loving relationships with their mothers, but many will struggle due to their narcissistic character traits. The narcissist's need for admiration and validation means they will often put unrealistic demands on their mothers, while their need for control makes them manipulative.
The narcissist is more than aware of how potent this phrase is and they're quite happy to use it to draw you in again. "You've got it wrong." Gaslighting and narcissism often go hand in hand, and saying “I love you” is a great way of downplaying some of the horrendous behaviour you've been subjected to.