So yes, you can love your partner and betray them. Or be loved and feel betrayed. If it happens, it's important to show them how much you care and take responsibility do what's in your power to make things right.
A romantic partner's betrayal is deemed to be a form of interpersonal trauma. The effects of your partner's actions are clinically significant, too. Between 30% and 60% of those who experienced romantic betrayal showed symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression and anxiety.
In a questionnaire of 495 people it was demonstrated that lack of love, self-esteem, attachment insecurity and neglect were indications for why people cheated.
"Betrayal is an inherent part of love. Betrayal doesn't depend on how much or deeply you love someone. It depends on the magnitude of the dilemma put in front of you."
Generally, betrayal in a relationship occurs when there is a violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence, which produces moral/psychological conflict within a romantic relationship.
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.
Most people who have betrayed someone they love feel plagued by feelings of guilt, sadness, shame, or remorse. Your own capacity to hurt a loved one may also damage your own self-esteem and identity.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” - Author unknown.
Though the path to a thriving reconciliation can be difficult and long, many intimate partners who have fallen into the chasm of broken trust not only can find their way back to each other, but can do so with a new and deeper faith in themselves and their new relationship.
A betrayed person may experience:
Hypervigilance or feelings that nothing is safe. A sense of inadequacy or embarrassment. Shame or self-blame. Decreased self-esteem.
They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress. The effects of betrayal include shock, loss and grief, morbid pre-occupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, anger. Not infrequently they produce life-altering changes.
Betrayal Trauma occurs most commonly from: Child abuse- including physical, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse (e.g., manipulation, gaslighting, verbal abuse, etc.) Partner Betrayal- a partner has an affair or lies to you about something significant in your relationship (money, sexual addiction, etc.)
Betrayal hurts because someone you love and care about chose to hurt you. When you have put such a large emotional investment into a person and only for them to turn around and cause you suffering, you feel as though you lost a part of yourself. This feeling of heartbreak is normal for a short duration.
In truth, betrayal is one of our worst fears. Betrayals can occur within families, in the workplace, among friends, and in the most sacred space of marriage. All betrayals are difficult to come to terms with, yet betrayal within the confines of an intimate relationship can feel like the worst violation of all.
MD. Betrayal trauma is a type of trauma that refers to the pain and emotional distress that occurs when a trusted institution, loved one, or intimate partner violates someone's trust. Betrayal trauma may occur alongside things like gaslighting and lead to anxiety and depression.
The healing process after a betrayal is complicated. It can take a long time, and it's rarely linear. For many people, it's hard to simply forgive the person who hurt them and move on as though nothing happened. Forgiveness also often involves another complicating part: Grief & Loss.
On average, it usually takes between eighteen months to three years to absolutely recover, especially with a lot of help and moral support. There are several steps to take in other to help foster the healing of betrayal trauma in a healthy way.
While experiences may vary, people commonly go through several stages after learning of their partner's betrayal, whether it be an emotional affair, hidden pornography use, or a sexual affair. They include shock, denial, obsession, anger, bargaining, mourning, acceptance and recovery.
Definitions of traitor. a person who says one thing and does another. synonyms: betrayer, double-crosser, double-dealer, two-timer. types: Judas. someone who betrays under the guise of friendship.
Broadly, emotional infidelity describes a situation in which an individual in a relationship develops an important emotional connection with someone other than their partner, in a way that crosses a line without necessarily becoming physical.
Some types of betrayal in romantic relationships include sexual infidelity, conditional commitment, a nonsexual affair, lying, forming a coalition against the partner, absenteeism or coldness, withdrawal of sexual interest, disrespect, unfairness, selfishness, and breaking promises.