Society sees friendships as far less important than love and life partnerships. But psychologists warn that the end of a close friendship can leave the "grieving" side in need of therapy. The end of friendships can lead to heartbreak and grief like with any other relationship.
Platonic breakups can hurt as much as, or even more, than romantic breakups. When everything is going wrong in our lives, a good friend is who we turn to to seek support.
“I think some of us try to be tough, and it feels a little juvenile — maybe a little vulnerable — to say 'My feelings are hurt and I am sad over a friendship'. Feel the feelings the same way you would grieve over a romantic breakup.” Newton agrees. “To the brain, a breakup is a breakup,” she says.
Losing a close friend can feel as painful as losing a love relationship. You might suffer physical symptoms like insomnia, gastrointestinal pain, and chest tightness. It can feel like a literal heartache (Eisenberger, N. I. 2012).
Quite often, we associate post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) with extremely traumatic events in our lives, but the loss of a friendship that we thought would fulfill us can also be extremely jarring and traumatic. Friendship PTSD is often caused by friendships that have ended suddenly and badly.
They make us feel valued, understood, and connected to something larger than ourselves. Our friends introduce us to new experiences and ways of being. Good friends are there to cheer our successes and console us when things go badly. Unlike [familial relationships], these ties are totally volitional.
You might even cry, too. That's NORMAL! Allow yourself to feel these strong emotions and identify them. When I've lost friends, I've noticed that I feel lonely, inadequate, and nostalgic.
While lost friendships are often considered unimportant compared to romantic partners, their loss can be just as painful and regrettable, says Neal Roese, PhD, a professor of marketing at the Kellogg School of Management at Northwestern University, and author of If Only: How to Turn Regret Into Opportunity.
Friendship breakups are so hard because we don't get the same permission to process grief around a friendship. We struggle to reconcile how we feel toward the loss with how society says we should feel. We grieve in community; others acknowledge the weight of our loss, and it helps us heal.
You have little or nothing to talk about
Sometimes, friends drift apart, whether you have less in common or life circumstances have changed. If you have little or nothing to talk about anymore, it may be a sign your friendship as you knew it has come to an end.
One of the biggest challenges when experiencing a friendship ending is not having that person to lean on. Focus on scheduling activities and reconnecting with loved ones (but avoid bad-mouthing your situation to mutual friends). It may also help to reach out to a therapist, who can help you sort through your emotions.
Many friendships hit rough patches, but a difficult fight may leave you feeling like the relationship is beyond repair. If you really care about this person, it will be worth the emotional strain to work through your problems. It may be hard, but fixing a broken friendship will leave it even stronger than before.
Friendships are a source of emotional support and boost our health and well-being. Some signs that it may be time to end a friendship include gossip, manipulation, or disrespecting boundaries. Most friendships drift apart naturally.
The truth is, it can happen both ways. You can be attracted to someone from the beginning and want to be in a romantic relationship with them. On the flip side, you can start feeling attracted and experience the signs of friendship turning into love.
Losing a close friend can be even more painful than a romantic breakup. It is possible to heal from the loss; as you work through the pain, you'll become even stronger.
It found that the average person will make 29 real friends over the years but will lose at least five of those along the way due to arguments. We then lose touch with at least another eight of these 29 due to different lifestyles and moving house.
Best friends aren't always forever, and not all relationships have happy endings. Whether you are trying to cope with losing your best friend to a guy or girl, a betrayal, or dealing with friends who abandon you, it can be really hard to move on.
Naturally, you're going to grow apart and that it is okay. Holding on to people limits the time you have for new friendships. Letting go of old friends can open the door to new ventures, to connecting with likeminded people and help you develop as a person. Having the same friends can really limit your growth.
SPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS & FAMILY
After the loss of a companion is not a great time to be alone. Now is the time to surround yourself with other close friends and family members. No one will take the place of your best friend, but knowing you have others around who love you will help you feel less alone.
Give some affection if wanted.
If you're in doubt, ask if they'd like a hug or for you to hold them. If they don't want physical touch, don't do it. Ask, "Mind if I hug you"? Your friends or family may want physical touch more than strangers, so make sure you don't make the person more uncomfortable.
Guilt because we have "failed" the friend.
When a relationship fails, some feel it's their fault. They feel guilty for not being “better” friends. They also may be hesitant to end a friendship if they feel that the person doesn't have many other friends and they feel sorry for him or her.
BFF is the acronym used for the phrase 'best friends forever'.