In a healthy relationship, there is a balance between compromise, self-love, and consideration for the other person. While jealousy is a natural feeling everyone gets from time to time, when we obsess over it, it can change us and end relationships.
Jealousy causes loss of trust, ineffective communication, and loss of emotional connection between partners. Controlling behavior, emotional distance, and insecurity are just a few examples of how jealousy destroys relationships, eventually leading to a breakup or even worse.
“Another common red flag is jealousy and distrust,” says Trueblood. “Often, the red flag of a very insecure partner looks like attentiveness at the start of a relationship, but there's an underlying control problem beneath all the attention.
Envy and jealousy also add to stress and anger that are closely tied to several illnesses. Anger has been shown to be a risk factor for heart disease. Also, long-term stress harms the immune system and has been linked with some forms of cancer.
Jealousy becomes toxic for relationships, however, if left unchecked, Freeman adds. Trust is a key component of any healthy, successful relationship. Jealousy breeds suspicion, doubt, and mistrust, which can snowball into pretty intense emotions and behaviors, he says.
Jealousy may be driven by low self-esteem or a poor self-image. If you don't feel attractive and confident, it can be hard to truly believe that your partner loves and values you. Other times, jealousy can be caused by unrealistic expectations about the relationship.
But there's a difference between feeling jealous and exhibiting unhealthy jealous behaviors. Normal jealousy is a pang that comes on in an instant, one which we can usually dismiss on our own. Unhealthy jealous behavior happens when we indulge that feeling and act impulsively from a place of suspicion and insecurity.
It is a pattern of behavior that repeats. Another hallmark of abusive or unhealthy jealousy is an attempt to exert control over another person as well as making outlandish accusations. If you are regularly defending yourself against your partner's unreasonable or accusatory questions, that is a red flag.
Morbid jealousy is signaled by irrational, obsessive thoughts centered around a lover or ex-lover's possible sexual unfaithfulness, together with unacceptable or extreme behavior. Surprisingly, it occurs more often in older individuals and in males.
Being in a relationship with a jealous partner shouldn't necessarily be a deal breaker. Some people have trust issues that stem from past relationships or breakups, and many times it is possible for couples to work through these problems with open communication, healthy boundaries, and patience.
If you're the target of jealousy, you may feel like someone (usually a partner or friend) is trying to control your life. They might do things such as check up on you, try to tell you what to do (or not do) and how to act, or limit your contact with friends and coworkers.
At its core, jealousy in relationships is about low self-esteem. When you don't feel confident in yourself or feel that you deserve the love of your partner, you project those insecurities onto your partner. These are limiting beliefs – false beliefs we hold about ourselves and our true natures that hold us back.
There is not one root cause for someone's jealous behaviors or feelings, but there are a few reasons why someone might feel this way, including insecurity, past history, or fear of loss.
If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
Let's discuss the definition of jealousy and love and whether or not they are as related as many people seem to think they are. In short, no, jealousy and love are not the same things. You can exhibit signs of jealousy over someone you do not love, and sometimes there is love entirely devoid of jealousy.
Jealousy is a “complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self-esteem and/or threats to the existence or quality of the relationship” (White, 1981, p. 129). According to Pfeiffer and Wong (1989), jealousy construct consists of three dimensions: emotional, cognitive, and behavioral.
And a mild form of jealousy can be considered a positive part of a relationship if it's expressed in a healthy way. As a matter of fact, research has found jealousy in relationships to be correlated with the following: Increased love for one's partner. Stronger feelings of being “in love”
“Jealousy is the highest form of flattery.”
Research has identified many root causes of extreme jealousy, including low self-esteem, high neuroticism, and feeling possessive of others, particularly romantic partners. Fear of abandonment is also a key motivator.
Delusional jealousy is a psychotic disorder and should be treated mainly with antipsychotics, while obsessive jealousy resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder and should be treated with SSRIs and cognitive-behavioural therapy.
Jealousy is a normal human emotion that everyone experiences from time to time. It often stems from romantic relationships and can be feelings of unhappiness, anxiety, and anger caused by a belief or fear that your partner may be unfaithful or interested in someone else.