By blatantly and repeatedly lying or challenging reality, the gaslighters keep their victims off-kilter and make them question themselves. Many times, a person's diagnosis of ADHD is used against him or her by the gaslighter.
I think it's safe to say that even some people with ADHD can be intentionally gaslighting — and perhaps intentionally target other people with ADHD.
Folks with ADHD may tend to be impulsive or angry, but they're not always violent. ADHD doesn't directly lead to violence or aggression among those who live with this condition, but some people diagnosed with ADHD may be more violent due to symptoms like emotional dysregulation and impulsivity.
Some children with ADHD are prone to emotional outbursts of anger, violence, and abusive language.
Gaslighting is the use of a patterned, repetitive set of manipulation tactics that makes someone question reality. It's often used by people with narcissistic personality disorder, abusive individuals, cult leaders, criminals, and dictators. It's important to point out that gaslighting is a “patterned” behavior.
A few indications that you might be a victim of gaslighting are constantly second-guessing yourself, feeling confused about what did and did not occur, not telling other people in your life about the conflict in your relationship, constantly apologizing and despite having many positive things in your life, feeling ...
You are guilty of downplaying others' emotions.
When a person is hurt by something you've said or done, your usual response is that they're overreacting and to stop making things up. This may make a person believe their emotions are not valid or excessive. If this sounds like you, you are definitely gaslighting.
Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame. Know that there is hope, and you can rebuild your life after living with gaslighting for months or even years.
If you have ADHD, you may zone out during conversations, which can make your partner feel ignored and devalued. You may also miss important details or mindlessly agree to something you don't remember later, which can be frustrating to your loved one.
People with ADHD can be susceptible to toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are found at work, at home, in friendships, and in romantic relationships. Learn how to protect yourself from people who don't have your best interests in mind.
Toxic relationships hound many people with ADHD, whose persistent symptoms and battered self-esteem make them especially susceptible to “love bombing,” “trauma bonding,” and other romantic red flags.
Trauma's Impact on ADHD Symptoms
Traumatic stress can worsen ADHD symptoms. Up to 17% of trauma-exposed children meet ADHD criteria, and the co-occurrence of each worsens the effects of the other. Trauma also impacts specific brain regions that may also increase: Inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity.
Anger is not on the official list of ADHD symptoms . However, many adults with ADHD struggle with anger, especially impulsive, angry outbursts . Triggers can include frustration, impatience, and even low self-esteem. A number of prevention tips may help adults with ADHD manage anger as a symptom.
Yes, those with ADHD, like anyone else, can indeed be untruthful, manipulative, and intentionally misleading. But for those who struggle with ADHD, their various processing issues can often be at the heart of their misleading communication problems.
Gaslighter's Victims
People who are most susceptible to being victims of gaslighting more often exhibit characteristics of ADHD, anxiety or depression, said Sarkis. Gaslighting is present in about 30 to 40 percent of the couples she treats, where such disorders are more commonly represented.
Additionally, these researchers found that overall, participants with ADHD were also more likely to experience physical abuse at the hands of an intimate partner than the comparison groups (30.7% vs. 6.3%).
For many people affected by ADHD, key symptoms like inattention, forgetfulness, and disorganization negatively affect their relationships. The partners without ADHD can misinterpret their partners' intentions, resulting in increased frustration and resentment.
Impulsive behavior
Adults with ADHD tend to do or say things without thinking. They might blurt out something insensitive, or make a big purchase without looking at their finances or having a discussion with you first. Their impulsive tendencies can often lead to reckless, even destructive actions.
As we've discussed, unfortunately, many people with ADHD tend to have a lack of empathy. This can be addressed, though, through identifying and communicating about each other's feelings. If you see a disconnect between ADHD and empathy in your child or in your spouse, don't give up hope.
Does ADHD cause low empathy? For many people with ADHD, the world can feel chaotic, overwhelming, and difficult to navigate, Khan says. Symptoms like impulsivity and difficulty focusing on tasks can make it harder to understand and process your own feelings, let alone try to appreciate what others experience.
When you have ADHD, your nervous system overreacts to things from the outside world. Any sense of rejection can set off your stress response and cause an emotional reaction that's much more extreme than usual. Sometimes the criticism or rejection is imagined, but not always.
Gaslighting Tell #3: You're Convinced You're “Too Sensitive” Gaslighters insist that their victims are paranoid and hyper-sensitive. If you've been told that enough times about yourself, odds are you'll start to believe it. Abusers will often use gaslighting as one of many abuse tactics.
Well, maybe sometimes not. In an article in Psychology Today, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis explains that sometimes what may feel like gaslighting may in reality be manipulation, disagreement, or even someone just being a jerk. Gaslighting is decidedly jerky behavior, but jerky behavior does not always entail gaslighting.