Of course, INFPs are reserved, self-conscious, and very private about their inner lives. On the surface level, this explains why INFPs seem cold. INFPs, though they don't like being called shy, are really often just “shy”, in some of the stereotypical sense of the word.
Isolation is common to INFPs. Due to our tendency to feel misunderstood, we have an inner sacred space where we go when things get too real for us. Many of us have a lot of acquaintances but only a handful of real friends, and an even smaller number of people we trust/feel safe with and can open ourselves up to.
INFPs are often deep thinkers who need quiet time alone to reflect on things that happened throughout the day. They can also be very sensitive to other people's emotions, so when someone is struggling, it might make an INFP stressed out and cause them to want space from that person for a while.
They may withdraw from the world and become isolated, or they may act out in destructive ways. Their idealism can turn into cynicism, and their values may become inflexible. When they're in this state, INFPs are often negative, judgmental, and superior.
INFPs are arguably the personality type that is most in touch with their emotions. Despite this, they can appear aloof and unemotional. While others usually view them as calm, they feel intensely passionate on the inside. Even when an INFP is incredibly excited about something, it can be hard to tell that's the case.
The INFP – Shallowness
Shallow conversations, relationships, and activities turn INFPs off because they see them as a waste of time.
INFP Grip Stress
They stop caring about others' feelings as much and react quickly without worrying about careful evaluation. Often this takes on the form of mulling over bitter thoughts towards others or becoming sarcastic and passive-aggressive.
The pressure of having everyone looking at them waiting for a reaction can make them feel shy or awkward. Many INFPs also experience “second-hand embarrassment”. For example, they might feel embarrassed when someone is trying to make jokes but they are all falling flat.
They tend to have a lot of resolve about their vision or hunches and are less focused on exploring similar, unrelated ideas. Because Ni isn't as fully developed in INFPs as it is in INJs, they tend to use it in a haphazard or confused way.
INFPs are sometimes referred to as “the Mediator,” “the Idealist,” “the Healer,” or “the Dreamer.” ESTJ is the opposite personality type of INFP.
1. It's hard to find people who are emotionally open, available, and willing to dive deep. INFPs are generally very understanding and empathetic to others, even people they do not understand (no matter how hard they try). However, they do not usually make deep connections with shallow or gossipy people.
INFPs prefer to communicate one-on-one or in small groups. They may have a few close friends that they are incredibly loyal to and who know them deeply. INFPs can be difficult to get to know at first and may seem shy or aloof, but once you've earned their trust they will open up their inner world to you and let you in.
Like most introverts, INFPs do enjoy plenty of time to themselves, and can often isolate from others intentionally. They need this time in order to recharge, and process what they see others thinking and feeling, and make sense of all this at a deeper understanding level.
As partners, they are most likely hand-holders and snugglers, using physical closeness as a love language. About 83% of them agree that understanding their partner's physical needs is essential for a healthy relationship. They will likely make a very conscientious effort to make sure that those needs are met.
Emotionally overwhelmed INFPs tend to fixate on their past mistakes and errors in judgment. They often feel like they can't do anything right and get lost in a loop of self-criticism, attempts to “fix” things, confusion, and then despair.
INFP. An imaginative and individualized type, INFPs tend to follow their own style rules. They are generally non-judgmental when it comes to fashion and believe that everyone should be free to wear what they want, how they want. INFPs use clothes as a tool for self-expression, letting their creative side lead the way.
Idealism. INFPs care deeply for others and believe it is their duty to make a positive impact on the lives of other people in any way they can. Because of this unbreakable commitment, INFPs are capable of great self-sacrifice, and they won't compromise their ethical standards for personal benefit.
Behaviors of INFPs under stress
Distance themselves from others and retreat into themselves. Become overly critical.
Although Mediators are warm and accepting, they don't always find it easy to make friends. This may be because superficial, casual relationships can leave these personalities feeling a bit empty.
They like to cyber stalk their love interests, but can be somewhat shy with them in person until communication has opened up a bit. You'll find that INFPs make this open communication flow happen rather quickly.
Although introverted, we can be remarkably talkative.
When INFPs are in the right mood, we'll talk your ear off, simply because we have so much to say, so much has happened, and we've been thinking about so many things we'd like to discuss with you.
Dating an INFP will require you to be mindful of the fact that this personality type thinks with their emotions and may place feelings before logic. While the INFP in relationships tends to be emotional, they may have a difficult time with self-reflection, meaning they do not always know why they feel a certain way.
INFP: Won't Cause a Scene
But when someone challenges your core values or accuses your actions of being false or flawed, it won't be too long before you start getting cynical and sarcastic – when pushed enough, you may eventually blow up and engage in a conflict.
When we INFPs have crushes, we unconsciously assign so much meaning to this person, because of our dominant function, Introverted Feeling (Fi). We become too involved in all the possibilities, due to our Extroverted Intuition (Ne). We let our imaginations fill in the blanks.