The short answer is that yes, a sexless marriage can survive – but it can come at a cost. If one partner desires sex but the other is uninterested, lack of sex can lead to decreased intimacy and connection, feelings of resentment and even infidelity.
Yes, sexless relationships can absolutely be healthy. "Some people are perfectly happy without sex, so there is no problem. And even when sex is a problem, the rest of the relationship can be healthy," says Zimmerman.
The survey of 1,000 people in relationships, by Bad Girls Bible, found most people are willing to wait 18 months in a sexless relationship before calling it quits. The study also found that 1 in 20 people have cheated because their partner refused sex.
Making intimacy your priority
A relationship can survive without intimacy, but it will become a real struggle for both partners as time goes on; neither partner will be happy or feel secure in the relationship. Without happiness and security, the basis of a relationship is complicated.
Things You Should Know
Walk away if your problems go beyond lack of sex (criticism, contempt, lost trust, etc.) and one or both of you is unwilling to work on the relationship. If you're both still willing to try, prioritize regular time together to experiment, communicate, and be intimate.
The truth is, there are plenty of adverse sexless marriage effects on women. Such effects include: Feeling a loss of emotional intimacy/connection/friendship to her partner. Low self-esteem.
In these cases, it's essential for the couple to seek professional help from a mental health therapist who specializes in human sexuality. A sex therapist who specializes in relationship and sexual difficulties can help you understand what factors led to the sexless relationship.
The most common reasons people break up usually involve a lack of emotional intimacy, sexual incompatibility, differences in life goals, and poor communication and conflict resolution skills. There are no wrong or good reasons to break up. However, some things in a relationship are just outrightly unacceptable.
A sexless marriage can also be caused by both emotional and physical health issues. Depression or stress, as well as many medications, can decrease libido. You may also find your libidos were mismatched to begin with, or that you're never “in the mood” at the same time.
Anxiety, stress, and depression are also common sexless marriage effects on the husband. When a husband is denied sex at home for a long time, his mental health is likely to deteriorate from stress, overthinking, and inability to release the feel-good hormone from sex.
Self-Esteem Issues
Where physical intimacy is lacking, this can cause self-esteem problems. If your partner shows no interest in you physically, you might feel like they're not attracted to you anymore, and this can cause you to question yourself.
Relationships that lack emotional intimacy are characterized by feelings of isolation, disconnection, and a lack of emotional safety. Even though there's time spent together, there's no real emotional connection or understanding between you. And the effects of a lack of intimacy are serious.
Some might avoid maintaining relationships, pull back from conflicts, or hold back from being emotionally close to the other person. Others may react intensely to situations, such as being controlling or overly critical, using guilt on their partner to express hurt, or being clingy.
There is no proper name for it. Celibacy implies choice, and doesn't reveal whether both partners are happy. Anecdotally, there may be many more married or cohabiting couples than statistics show who are happily, or resignedly, not having sex. Another factor to consider, and something of a buzzword, is asexuality.
Yes, a man can, but it will be very hard. The effects of sexless marriage on husbands can be very disturbing, to the point where they cannot take it anymore and may want separation from their partner. To know more about surviving a sexless marriage, watch this video.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
Toxic relationship
Remember that it's absolutely fine to refuse to have sex with your partner at any time, for any reason. You are never obligated to have sex with someone. If you feel forced or pressured into having sex, it may be this unhealthy relationship that's causing your low libido.
Intimacy refers to a level of closeness where you feel validated and safe. In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. If you feel you fear intimacy of any type, or your loved one does, seeking the support of a therapist may help you.
Sexual avoidance or disinterest exacerbates feelings of self-exposure and judgment. Both partners can feel confused, rejected, and resentful.
When you stop developing any kind of interests together, something is likely off. If everything comes before date night and you find yourself saying yes to work and no to your partner, your spark might be fading away.
Those in deep attachment take the final step to stage 5. Commitment. At this stage, couples have a strong understanding of each other's values and goals for the future. They've decided they're in it for the long haul and in a relationship with each other's family and friends, too.