But health experts warn parents not to place their infants to sleep in adult beds due to serious safety risks. Bed-sharing increases the chance of suffocation, strangulation, and SIDS.
Let Your Child Sleep on Their Own by Age Five
Parents should introduce sleeping in their own spaces as early as five years old. This is when they are fully grown, and still young enough to get used to the norm of having their bed and space.
A pediatrician and a child psychologist say co-sleeping is OK until a child reaches prepuberty. Alicia Silverstone recently shared in a podcast that she and her 11-year-old son share a bed. A pediatrician said co-sleeping should not happen before 12 months and should stop at prepuberty.
What our expert says “There is nothing wrong with cuddling your eight-year-old in bed and, on occasion, sleeping with them for comfort when they're stressed or ill,” says Janet Morrison, a psychological associate from Toronto who assesses children, adolescents and families.
Key points. Forty-five percent of moms let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them from time to time, and 13 percent permit it every night. A child's anxiety, lower self-esteem, and dependency behaviors during the daytime are related to their inability to sleep alone at night.
Some studies indicate that co-sleeping can cause lower sleep quality, which results in more nighttime waking and daytime sleepiness – for both kids and parents. Research indicates the following benefits for children who sleep on their own: Less difficulty falling asleep. Tend to sleep longer and wake less.
It's OK to carve out time for pre-bedtime cuddles and even to let him climb into bed with you in case of a nightmare, but at this point, nightly bed sharing should definitely be phased out.
DEAR CONCERNED: It is not appropriate for parents to co-sleep with adolescent children, partly because adolescents need and deserve some privacy, as they engage in the developmentally important process of figuring out who they are and what they're about.
We found that the average age that a child stops sleeping in their parents' bed on a regular basis is over 7 years old, and that many parents lie about the situation to friends and families. Overall, some 87% of our 2740 respondents said that their child had slept in the parental bed at least once.
For some teenagers, it might indicate a sign of unhappiness. Maybe they're being bullied at school and don't feel able to tell you, but derive huge comfort from having you close at night when the terrors of facing the next day are at their most acute.
I see it as a child's natural response to their desire to feel safe, secure and comfortable going to sleep. It may be that your daughter has simply developed a habit of sleeping with her parent (whichever one she is staying with at the time).
Dear Concerned: It is not appropriate for parents to co-sleep with adolescent children, partly because adolescents need and deserve some privacy, as they engage in the developmentally important process of figuring out who they are and what they're about.
By N., Sam M.S. is an umbrella term which is used to describe any of the sexual relationships or relations between a father and their daughter - this is coincidentally the most common form of incest reported.
"When you're heading into adolescence, it's probably a good idea that the child is able to sleep independently because they -- once you're getting 11, 12, 13 -- there are a lot of contexts socially, where the child might want to be sleeping somewhere else.
Co-sleeping- a way to give children security
This, some says, have been natural since the dawn of time and have given children the proximity to their parent's sounds, smells, warmth and movements.
Though co-sleeping may look like a wonderful idea, it impacts the psychological development of the child. Recent studies showed that many children co-sleep with their parents. It was noted that 45 percent of mothers co-sleep with their 8 to 12 years old children occasionally, and 13 percent of mothers do it daily.
I wouldn't advise you to confront him generally, but to talk with his mother about it because he obviously feels more comfortable with her. "I wouldn't want a 14-year-old child sleeping in the bed with his or her mother or father. If you asked me to draw a line, I think it's at the prepubertal time," Fisk said.
For example, co-sleeping during the school-aged years has been associated with problems initiating sleep, less nighttime sleep, more daytime sleepiness, more bedtime resistance, increased nighttime awakenings, and greater levels of sleep anxiety (Blader et al.
Sometimes kids are still sleeping with their parents at this age because they've never been given the chance to do anything else, says Briggs. Tell your kid you know they can do it, then stick to your guns by not allowing them into your bed at all during the night.
The child fears many things including: Being alone, what others think of them, how they will perform, and trying new things. Often when I probe deeper I learn that for many of these children, more nights than not, they are sleeping in their parents' bed and into their double digits years.
Most children probably sleep in their own beds at this age, but if they are happy to share with their parent, and the parent is happy too, then fair enough!
Co-Sleeping, Room-Sharing, and Bed-Sharing
Many people use the terms "bed-sharing" and "co-sleeping" to describe the same thing, but there are differences: Co-sleeping: This is when a parent and child sleep in close social or physical contact of each other, meaning that each can tell that the other is nearby.
Answer: Nighttime is frequently a time of peak anxiety for children and as a result, lots of children find it hard to fall asleep alone. Many children need the reassurance of a parent being present to get to sleep in the first place and/or to return to sleep when they wake in the night.