Loneliness as passive-aggressive behavior A passive-aggressive person will avoid face-to-face confrontation. They can't show their feelings; therefore, being lonely will improve peace of mind. Most passive aggressors will isolate themselves to clear harsh feedback.
Passive aggression stems from deep anger, hostility, and frustration that a person, for whatever reason, is not comfortable expressing directly. When dealing with passive-aggressive behavior, it's important to understand that beneath all of those snide remarks lies a deep unhappiness and sadness.
Specific signs of passive-aggressive behavior include: Resentment and opposition to the demands of others, especially the demands of people in positions of authority. Resistance to cooperation, procrastination and intentional mistakes in response to others' demands. Cynical, sullen or hostile attitude.
“People who are passive-aggressive often [have] low self-esteem; they tend to be anxious and feel that they must control others,” explains Colleen Wenner, a licensed mental health counselor in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.
There are many possible causes of passive aggression, such as fear of conflict, difficulty expressing emotions, low self-esteem and a lack of assertiveness. People who tend to be more introverted may also struggle with expressing their needs or wants directly.
Passive-aggressive personality disorder (PAPD) causes people to express negative feelings and emotions subtly or passively rather than directly. This often creates a contradiction between what they say and do.
A passive-aggressive person may slam doors, move things around loudly, or use other physical means of getting their point across without words. A passive-aggressive person may decide to punish another person by shutting down all communication instead of addressing the issue directly.
Snapping at your boss with a snide comment, for example, may be your way of begrudgingly taking on an assignment you didn't want. A passive-aggressive personality, however, is one where negative feelings are regularly expressed through patterns of indirect, often hostile behaviors.
People who are passive-aggressive don't express their anger, disagreement, or negative emotions directly, but rather through hostile or mean-spirited actions. These mixed messages leave others feeling confused, and this destructive trait can damage relationships at home, at work, or in love.
This is particularly true when experiencing people's behaviors that are simultaneously hostile and confusing. Situations with this kind of display of emotions are often called passive-aggressive behaviors. This kind of toxic behavior is sometimes hard to spot and difficult to deal with.
Some passive-aggressive people have no idea they're acting that way. Either they aren't aware of the hurt, anger, and resentment they are acting from, or they don't know how to communicate more clearly.
The study then describes the seven traits that can be used to determine if someone is difficult: callousness, grandiosity, aggressiveness, suspicion, manipulativeness, dominance and risk-taking.
Passive-aggressiveness is a behavior where people tend to avoid direct conflict and express their anger indirectly through sulking, procrastination, withdrawal, stubbornness, controlling, and sabotaging tasks (1).
If your partner is the one who is passive aggressive, you need to make sure they knows what it is they do or say that upsets and angers you, but they also need to hear that you love them and that expressing anger will not automatically end your relationship.
The silent treatment can often be used when the person doesn't have the tools to respond differently. When faced with the triggering of strong feelings, they may not know what else to do — so they go quiet. It can also be a passive-aggressive response to avoid directly communicating how (hurt) they feel.
Passive Aggression Is Easier than Assertiveness
On the other hand, passive aggressive behaviors such as sulking, emotional withdrawal, and indirect communication are much more the mark of immature, untamed emotional expression.
In some cases, stress caused by life events or a mental health issue can cause people to act in passive-aggressive ways. Anxiety, depression, bipolar, and ADHD are a few common mental health issues that may cause passive aggression.
Gestures and facial expressions are used to undercut any 'pleasant' words spoken by the passive-aggressive person. Notice the small actions they use to express disdain– for example sneering or rolling their eyes when you talk. Also pay attention to a passive-aggressor's voice tone.
Confrontation
Assertive, not aggressive, confrontation is the best way to frustrate the goals of a passive-aggressive person. You see, passive-aggressive people hate confrontation.
Be clear and specific: When setting boundaries with a passive-aggressive person, it is important to be clear and specific about what behaviors you will and will not tolerate. For example, you may say “I will not tolerate passive-aggressive comments or behavior directed towards me.”
One alternative to passive-aggressive communication is assertive communication. By being forthcoming and direct, you leave less room for misinterpretation of your intent and meaning. Assertive is another way of saying decisive, certain, firm, and even positive.
As a psychiatrist I teach my patients to address passive aggressive behavior directly as the person may not be aware of the impact on you since they are short on empathy.