Many narcissists are adept at attracting and entertaining people. They're not considered boring! It's easy to be seduced by generosity, expressions of love, flattery, sex, romance, and promises of commitment. This is how narcissists manipulate you to achieve their aims.
They love attention
Narcissists love attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. They are often extremely flirty. Relationships involving a narcissist will usually come along with frequent fights about jealousy, flirtation, or cheating.
Clients with strong narcissistic personality traits can default into hypersexual, detached stimulating-seeking modes where they become involved in excessive sexual preoccupation: use of pornography, cyber-sexual relationships, prostitutes, affairs, underground sadomasochism clubs, or other types of eroticism.
Narcissists are known for being good in bed. They tend to be voracious and seemingly attentive lovers. Especially at the beginning of the relationship, your partner might want to have sex all the time because you're just so irresistible or they find sex with you so amazing.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
Since reality doesn't support their grandiose view of themselves, narcissists live in a fantasy world propped up by distortion, self-deception, and magical thinking. They spin self-glorifying fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, attractiveness, and ideal love that make them feel special and in control.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
Cerebral Narcissists. As discussed earlier, the word somatic relates to the body. Therefore, somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance and weight, often securing self-worth from their body image. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists gain their sense of value from their intellect.
Narcissists are so hungry for praise that they assume others are as well. They may tell you that you are special, that only you understand them, or that only you know how to take care of them. In truth, narcissistic flattery is not based on who you really are. Narcissists rarely see who others are.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
Key points. Narcissists are more likely to be highly extraverted, want to be the center of attention, and are more disagreeable than others. Researchers have found that narcissists tend be more physically attractive than average.
Narcissists are more likely to wear expensive, flashy clothing, have an organized, neat appearance requiring a lot of preparation, and (in females) wear makeup and show cleavage.
People can identify narcissists just from looking at their faces, psychologists have discovered. In fact, the eyebrows alone can reveal narcissistic traits in people, research reveals. Grandiose narcissists have thicker and denser eyebrows and people automatically pick up on this cue.
"Cerebral narcissists get their supply from feeling smarter, more clever, and more intelligent than others," explains Scott-Hudson. They may use big words or name-drop books they've read or schools they've attended.
Their eyes go from their natural colour into something so dark, so devoid of any human emotion, you become paralysed. This narcissistic stare is often referred to as a sociopathic stare, “death stare”, or “reptilian stare”, and is described as “pure evil”.
Narcissists are always looking at the external, and they will want to see in your eyes that you adore them and accept them as being the incredible person they have projected. Perhaps most importantly, they are seeking validation.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
There's nothing a narcissist fears more than being left alone. Block their phone number, unfriend them on social media, and don't even acknowledge their presence if you're ever in the same room with one another. This won't just scare a narcissist—it will devastate them.
Narcissists' sexual preferences are often very specific. In bed, the narcissist may have very explicit ideas about what their partner should do or even say. They want the narrative to play out in a certain way, and they don't have patience for changes to the script.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control. He is an expert at getting an emotional reaction out of you – good or bad – because it makes him feel powerful and better than you.
Narcissists are attention seeking. They are very concerned about their physical appearances (Vazire, Naumann, Rentfrow, & Gosling, 2008) and overestimate their physical attractiveness (Bleske-Rechek, Remiker, & Baker, 2008; Gabriel, Critelli, & Ee, 1994).