People experiencing BPD feel overwhelming emotions, and to help manage this, their minds label people as either wholly good or wholly bad. This is not because those with BPD are inherently judgmental; it's a self-preservation technique. When the world is simplified as such it is easier to manage and control emotions.
Individuals with a diagnosis of BPD have difficulty making appropriate social judgements about others from their faces.
They have anger outbursts and become particularly volatile. More often than not, they're not intentionally manipulating others — hence the quotation marks. Although their actions appear malicious, they're just trying to get their needs met.
Borderline personality disorder, or BPD, is a mental health condition that is characterized by a pattern of instability in relationships, affect, and self-perception, along with impulsivity. A person with BPD may appear insecure, overemotional, and even possessive—but only to those who know that person well.
These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness.
Most people with EUPD/BPD aren't manipulative - but often those around us can be. Maddi Crease writes that a pervasive misconception about people who have emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) is that they easily manipulate those around them.
People with BPD are often affected by several types of distorted thinking. Some ways that a person with BPD thinks include having paranoid ideation, dichotomous thinking, and dissociation. If you believe that you might be experiencing thinking associated with BPD, talk to your doctor.
Your family member or loved one with BPD may be extremely sensitive, so small things can often trigger intense reactions. Once upset, borderline people are often unable to think straight or calm themselves in a healthy way. They may say hurtful things or act out in dangerous or inappropriate ways.
Empathy and compassion – People with BPD experience greater internal and external turmoil. However, this in turn allows for the ability to recognise and have greater insight for others in similar situations.
Research suggests that 45 percent of people who engage in stalking behaviour have borderline personality disorder although the proportion among people convicted of stalking crimes is lower at 4 to 15 percent [1].
People with BPD are often on edge. They have high distress and anger levels, so they may be easily offended.
Is narcissism a symptom of BPD? Narcissism is not a symptom of BPD listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). However, as many as 40% of people with BPD may also have narcissistic personality disorder,4 so people with BPD may also show signs of narcissism.
People experiencing BPD feel overwhelming emotions, and to help manage this, their minds label people as either wholly good or wholly bad. This is not because those with BPD are inherently judgmental; it's a self-preservation technique. When the world is simplified as such it is easier to manage and control emotions.
Things like “splitting,” experiencing intense emotions or mood swings and dissociation are mainstays for many folks with BPD — but they aren't the only ways it can manifest. Sometimes BPD can make people do things that are often described (and misunderstood) as being “impolite.”
People with BPD fear abandonment and have trouble maintaining relationships. Nevertheless, they tend to lie, which ruins trust and intimacy, fosters resentment, and harms the very relationships they fear losing. Many family members and friends of those with BPD cite lying as a major problem in their relationships.
How Selfishness Manifests in Borderline Personality Disorder. According to HealthyPlace, selfishness in the case of BPD arises from unmet needs: People with a borderline personality often report being neglected or abused as children. Consequently, they feel empty, angry, and deserving of nurturing.
An individual developing borderline personality disorder begins to have difficulty managing their emotions, which impacts their relationships, their self-image, and their behaviors. Their emotions are extremely intense, which can lead to episodes of depression, anxiety or anger that may persist for days or even weeks.
However, those positive attributes are not without the proverbial strings attached; when the BPD explodes with vindictive rage, all they said or gave to their loved one may be taken away in one fell swoop of aggression. BPDs experience the world in extremes: black-and-white or all-or-nothing.
Although BPD patients commonly use emotional manipulation techniques, their intent is not to manipulate others – but, in fact, to cry for help. Some of the things people with BPD do that are commonly viewed as being “manipulative” are threatening suicide, self-harm, and more.
They take your different opinion as a criticism of their opinion if you don't feel the same way. In this way, they actively resist empathy because it makes them feel defective. Another challenge to sufferers of BPD symptoms with regard to empathy is that many experience emotional dysregulation.
Someone with BPD might also push someone away in order to “test” whether the person will stay with them or come back to them after being pushed away.
Relationships & Borderline Personality Disorder
“We also have intense and sudden mood changes, and we have severe difficulty regulating our emotions. Unintentionally, we tend to blame others when we make a mistake, which causes us to be manipulative and cruel to those we care about.”
They may lie in an attempt to explain why they behaved in a specific manner. When a person has big emotions and expresses them in ways that are considered “over the top” or “crazy” as compared to most other people, the person with BPD lies in hopes of being given a pass... or at least not being discarded.
Similarities of BPD and NPD
BPD and NPD can both cause distorted and unhealthy patterns of thoughts and behaviors. People with these conditions have a strong desire for positive attention and validation from others and may react poorly when they don't receive the affirmation that they want.