Unfortunately for you, narcissists don't like being alone; they're always searching for a source of supply, someone that can make them feel better about themselves. Sometimes they'll find a new source, but often they'll come back to you.
“A narcissist will stay with you and come back to you as long and as often as you let them,” explains Chawla. This doesn't mean that the relationship with them will change, though. You could still be exposed to vindictive and toxic relationship behaviors.
If this was a romantic relationship, then they usually reach out at exactly the 9-month mark. It's uncanny but it's some deep biological instinct to check in once there could be no baby involved. When this reach out happens – you likely feel as if you've been punched in the stomach.
Yes, they do. The narcissist will often stroll back into your life immediately after you implement the no contact rule. It is up to you to mean every word you say and focus on getting your life back together. Then again, you may need some professional help to completely get over what the narcissist has done to you.
Impact on the Person With Narcissistic Tendencies
People with narcissistic tendencies typically don't let go of their source of attention and admiration unless they've secured a new one. If they lose something important to their self-image by discarding you, they'll feel the loss and come back.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value. You are a possession, not a real person.
Narcissists often cycle between idealizing and devaluing someone in what feels like a hot/cold relationship before moving to the final stage. Discard/Rejection: When the narcissist gets bored or decides the person is no longer useful enough to them, they'll often end the relationship and 'discard' the person.
They see you as a tool that they are entitled to using to get the narcissistic supply that they need in order to feel emotionally stable. This belief could very well cause the narcissist in your life to try to come back into your life after discarding you simply because they believe that it is their right.
When that occurs, ancient feelings of emptiness, abandonment, and shame return with such “vengeance" that they're compelled to turn up their defenses a notch, prompting them to further denigrate—through what's commonly referred to as "narcissistic rage"—those now able to see through their façade.
Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when it's they who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
Often, a narcissist will retaliate by ignoring you. This is a means to punish you for puncturing their delusions. They're also avoiding you because a narcissist's sense of self is too unstable to resolve conflict. They are putting you in a position to make you desperate for their approval.
Here are some signs and behaviors a narcissist is done with you: They devalue/criticize you. They are distant. The narcissist ignores everything you say.
Narcissists can love, but this superficial and momentary affection serves as a way to get what they want from others. While their role as caring partners, parents, or friends may appear genuine, a lack of empathy and devotion to themselves renders narcissists unable to develop meaningful relationships.
For most of us it's the memories which keep us attached to someone and unable to move on. The narcissist doesn't have this problem. Their brain hasn't stored those memories in the same way so they can quickly move on without the attachment.
When a narcissist realizes they can no longer control you, it is common for them to use many different manipulation tactics to try to regain control over you, such as gaslighting, baiting, intermittent reinforcement, hoovering, narcissistic rage, discarding, smear campaigns, and self-victimization.
Although most narcissists seem to attempt reconciliation a few times before suddenly disappearing, most eventually stop and proceed with an abrupt separation or divorce. There are several significant reasons as to why they do this.
They Are Criticized. When a narcissist is criticized, their inflated sense of self is damaged. Any perceived negative feedback, even if offered in gentle or productive ways, can easily result in outbursts of narcissistic rage. A narcissist cannot tolerate threats to their massive egos and grandiose self-image.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new. "They are always waiting for the next new thing," she adds. "You are not boring, narcissists are just bored with everything."
In a survey we conducted among 300 people who experienced narcissistic abuse in a romantic relationship, we discovered that the average amount of time it took for a narcissist to get over their ex was three-and-a-half weeks.
How Long Can a Narcissist Go With No Contact Before They Reach Back Out To You? Unfortunately, there's no good answer to that question. Some can return right after a breakup, while others may take months or years.
Narcissistic relationships can last anywhere from a few days or weeks to many years. There are anecdotal observations suggesting that the average length of a narcissistic relationship is around six months, but no empirical evidence supports this claim.
A narcissist may lose interest in you if they feel defeated in some way. This could be due to a perceived slight, a challenge to their authority, or a failure to receive the admiration they believe they deserve.
This is what happens to a narcissist in the end: they become insecure and helpless. They realize they can't charm anyone, so they grow submissive and lonely. In the end, aging narcissists become needier yet quieter, finally accepting that people avoid them as they all know his/her true nature.