INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough. In some cases, it's a misunderstanding.
Love And The INFJ Personality Type
They can often come across as intimidating or aloof, and it may sometimes feel difficult to relate to an INFJ. Many people will never see the loving side of INFJs because many INFJs reserve true displays of intimacy and affection for close friends and long-term, loving relationships.
As an INFJ you need to be able to “talk out” your feelings, but some types are less confident in their ability to do this. Thinking-Judging types, for example, tend to struggle with externalizing their emotions. They're more likely to show their affection through acts of service or verbalize their thoughts and plans.
Because they are reserved and private, INFJs can be difficult to get to know. They place a high value on close, deep relationships and can be hurt easily—although they often hide these feelings from others. Interacting with an INFJ friend involves understanding and supporting their need to retreat and recharge.
According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language. This is followed by Words of Affirmation (25.54%), Physical Touch (21.83%), Acts of Service (14.04%), and Gifts (2.92%).
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
Worst Matches for an INFJ
For these reasons, the two worst potential matches for an INFJ are the energetic and unemotional ESTP and the always curious and firmly grounded ISTP. Relationships with both types of personalities leave the INFJ feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from their partners.
They send you a mix-tape of their favorite songs. They tell you things they've never told anyone else. They call you up when they're feeling down. They show frequent physical affection when feelings are being shared.
INFJs are likely to thrive in relationships where their partner is putting in an equal amount of effort. They tend to look for partners who are motivated, trustworthy, and encouraging. They want to feel fully loved and accepted as they are in a relationship and are unlikely to give up on their partner.
ENFP. If you have an ENFP as a friend, you'll know how fun and inclusive these types can be. ENFPs may be an INFJ's best match due to the similarities and complementary traits these types share.
INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts, but we tend to lack confidence. INFJs tend to flirt with prolonged, intense eye contact. We'll occasionally say hi or wave, but nothing else. If we end up getting closer, we'll open up little by little.
Although INFJs can write one helluva love letter, we're not the best at expressing our feelings verbally. Instead, we tend to express our love through our actions. Sometimes I verbally withhold my feelings, but I will show someone just how much I care by helping them with something or just being there for them.
INFJs have unique needs and expectations when it comes to romantic relationships and you may struggle to find someone who matches you intellectually and emotionally.
They crave deep mental and emotional connections with others; proximity or just a few shared interests won't cut it. This is especially true when it comes to love and dating. As a result, INFJs can really struggle to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
INTP (“The Logician”)
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
Here's Who Drives an INFJ Crazy:
They have a ceaseless hunger for authority, especially over your decisions. They pride themselves on “telling it like it is”, but this only succeeds in making the look superior and unabashedly tactless.
INFJs are easily rattled, anxious and stressed when they have too much to do in a short space of time, when they aren't given time to reflect on problems or when someone is watching them.
For example, an INFJ may be turned off by someone who is superficial and focused on material things. INFJs are all about connecting with others and they care deeply about meaningful, authentic relationships. Consequently, someone who is too concerned with money or material objects may be a big turn-off for them.
How do I know that an INFJ loves me? They will open up to you about their dreams, hopes and maybe even their fears. They will open up to you period. They will take care of you, ask if you are okay, check up on you, etc.
Because of our passionate need for meaningful connection, we INFJs can get jealous easily when we see other people connecting and having fun. We might compare ourselves to them, or worse yet, when someone close to us has friends of their own, we might pull away, feeling unwanted and pathetic.
INFJs' only true enemy is themselves, or more specifically, their inner critic. However, some personality types may be difficult for INFJs to get along with including: ESTJs: They are often seen as being too blunt, dominant, and insensitive for INFJs.
Those with INFJ traits do well in committed relationships and marriage, although they may have a hard time finding a partner who can give them the deep, emotional connection that they crave. Those with INFJ traits value loyalty, respect, and relational intimacy.