Toddlers see their mom and dad or other adults expressing their feelings by kissing and touching each other, sometimes in suggestive ways, Rinaldi adds, and it's not surprising that they'd imitate this. So should you do anything about this behaviour? “It's not a problem unless you make it one,” says Rinaldi.
Your child might also be very affectionate if his primary love language is quality time. If this is the case, spending more one-on-one time with your child or setting aside time for specific daily rituals could make him feel safer. They could be as simple as: Reading a story before bed.
It seems entirely natural, but it's also a sweet sign that your toddler loves and trusts you. They seek comfort from you. Your toddler may hold out their hand so that you can kiss a boo-boo, or cry for you to cuddle them after a fall.
Simply put, your child may be touching you and others excessively because he/she does not know how it feels like for your personal space to be invaded! A child cries when he/she is either hungry, sleepy, or wants attention.
Toddlers see their mom and dad or other adults expressing their feelings by kissing and touching each other, sometimes in suggestive ways, Rinaldi adds, and it's not surprising that they'd imitate this. So should you do anything about this behaviour? “It's not a problem unless you make it one,” says Rinaldi.
Understanding the Response to Affection
For instance, some children with ASD may appear disinterested when engaged in play or in response to affection from loved ones while others may have an overly affectionate child with autism. Individuals with autism can also have an aversion to touch.
They seek comfort from you.
Your toddler may hold out their hand so that you can kiss a boo-boo, or cry for you to cuddle them after a fall. They know they can count on you for comfort, and they trust that you'll be there to provide it.
Physical touch is vital for your child's well-being. Many long for the presence of caring touch in their daily life and its absence can cause loneliness, insecurity, and stress.
They may chase after them, cry when they are not near, and be unhappy when they have to share their parent's attention with others. Young children are hungry for attachment because they lack self-sufficiency and are highly dependent on us for care-taking.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
A child can show clinginess due to a fear of being away from their parents (separation anxiety) or because of stranger anxiety, where the fear is more about being around people the child doesn't know.
Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Study after study shows that parents can't turn infants and toddlers into brats by showing them too much affection or devoting too much time to their well-being. In fact, according to research, parents should be more concerned with whether they are being attentive enough than with whether they are being too attentive.
Practice setting boundaries
For example, you could ask, “What are some ways you could let Jeremy know you don't like it when he hugs you without asking?” Go over some simple phrases your child can use to advocate for themselves: “Please stop.” “I don't like that.” “It's my turn now.”
Remember touch is essential and there is no substitution for a great big hug! As author and family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth”.
As well as the obvious hugs and kisses, children show they love you by rubbing their face against yours, holding your hand and sitting on your lap. Asking to be picked up, snuggling into your arms, resting their head on your shoulder. There's no greater trust than what a child has for their parent.
Sharing, helping, being present, physical touch and giving gifts are all ways that kids can communicate their love. By keeping all of the examples we covered in mind, we hope that you and your kids have a wonderful Valentine's Day from your friends at the All About Kids Lewis Center!
Some people with autism don't instinctively think to give kisses or hugs and tell you they love you, so their partner often has to be the one to initiate these things. As they learn, they'll get better at consciously deciding to do these things on their own.
While many children with autism feel averse to hugging, some children with autism like to be hugged. Some children can swing the opposite way and want so many hugs that they feel hug deprived when they aren't getting enough.
About stimming and autism
Stimming might include: hand and finger mannerisms – for example, finger-flicking and hand-flapping. unusual body movements – for example, rocking back and forth while sitting or standing. posturing – for example, holding hands or fingers out at an angle or arching the back while sitting.