Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it's a normal part of your child's development and they usually grow out of it.
During the separation anxiety phase, your baby may exhibit the following signs: He may tense up around strangers, or even act shy around people he sees quite regularly, such as friends, relatives, or the babysitter. He may cry or put up a fuss whenever you leave him with someone or whenever you leave the room.
Make goodbyes quick and positive
Try as best as you can to remain calm and positive when saying goodbye. Smile, tell your child you will see them soon and do not prolong leaving. Maintaining this routine will help your little one get used to drop offs and will reassure them that you will always come back.
They have not yet developed the idea that a hidden object is still there (object permanence). Babies can become anxious and fearful when a parent leaves their sight. Separation anxiety is usually at its peak between 10 and 18 months. It typically ends by the time a child is 3 years old.
You can break down the separation anxiety response young children have to situations like you leaving the room or going to work into three stages: protest (wanting you to stay), despair (crying and withdrawing), and detachment (holding together until you come back).
Children with separation anxiety might cry or cling to their parents or carers when being separated from them. Separation anxiety is a common part of children's development. It can start at around 6-7 months and reach its peak in children aged 14-18 months. It usually goes away gradually throughout early childhood.
Separation anxiety usually fades away somewhere around the second birthday. Until it does, your child may need reassurance several times night after night.
They've formed an attachment to you and miss you.” While most children will grow out of this type of anxiety by the time they are ready for preschool, for some the feeling lingers. About 3% of children will continue to experience separation anxiety into elementary school.
Additionally, ADHD has been associated with higher rates of agoraphobia, simple phobias, separation anxiety disorders, social phobia, and OCD, particularly among children (Spencer et al., 1999). In fact, a study by Spencer et al.
Separation anxiety disorder usually won't go away without treatment and can lead to panic disorder and other anxiety disorders into adulthood. If you have concerns about your child's separation anxiety, talk to your child's pediatrician or other health care provider.
Researchers found that whether contemporary parents respond immediately or leave their infant to cry it out a few times to often makes no difference on the short – or longer term relationship with the mother or the infants behaviour.
Separation anxiety is a very normal developmental stage that means just what it sounds like. It's a set of nervous, worried feelings — and subsequent cries — that your baby develops when her BFF (yup, you!) or another trusted caregiver leaves her with someone unknown or unfamiliar.
The Bottom Line
As long as your baby's essential needs are being met and you actively engage them in a loving way, how much or how little you hold them is entirely up to you. If you want to hold them, do. If you want to put them down, even if they cry, that's fine as well.
That said, separation anxiety typically peaks in infants and small children between months 7-9 and age two.
What causes separation anxiety disorder in a child? Experts believe SAD is caused by both biological and environmental factors. A child may inherit a tendency to be anxious. An imbalance of 2 chemicals in the brain (norepinephrine and serotonin) most likely plays a part.
Here are some things you can do to help sleep train a baby with separation anxiety: Have a consistent bedtime routine. Offer extra cuddles but be clear when it's time for lights out. If there's a door to her sleep space, leave it open so she knows you are close.
It is generally recommended that parents allow their children to cry it out for 19 minutes when they are trying to sleep.
It is normal for kids to be attached to their mothers in the toddler years, but that attachment often comes with separation anxiety. Some kids are so attached, that they won't even go to other trusted family members without their mothers in the room.
If Your Baby Needs Extra Security
Dr. Richard Ferber, the man behind what is now called "crying it out", told Parenting that if your baby is having some separation anxiety issues, especially around 9 months old, then putting them in their own bed, in the dark, may not be a great choice.
A great way for kids to manage the emotions of missing a parent is to make a craft or art project for them. Your child is doing something fun while thinking of them. You're turning “lemons into lemonade” and using a time that would otherwise be difficult to get through toward a more positive activity.