You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.
We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.
Research shows that the pain a person feels when they're rejected activates the same part of the brain associated with physical pain, which explains why this type of emotional distress can feel so real and so acute.
Using Empathy To Support Your Partner
If you hurt someone you love, respecting their feelings can be paramount to repairing your relationship. While you may want to swoop in and “fix” how your partner feels, often, it can be more helpful to sit with your partner in their pain and show them some support.
Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.
Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”
Unfortunately, it is technically not true that true love never dies in a romantic love relationship. This is because death, divorce, and breakups are essentially the death of love, silencing the myth that “true love never dies.” True love eventually dies in some form or another.
It may be because of emotional baggage, the desire to assert control or independence, to test boundaries, or simply, because people may just expect a lot from the other. Some may have a fear of intimacy, due to cultural upbringing, or because of living through traumatic or abusive relationships.
To start with, many emotions go on when a man hurts you. Anger, frustration, disappointment, and resentment are a few of what a man feels when his woman is broken. The specific feeling a man has will depend on what caused the disagreement or fight in the first place.
Passionate love feels like instant attraction with a bit of nervousness. It's the "feeling of butterflies in your stomach,"Lewandowski says. "It's an intense feeling of joy, that can also feel a bit unsure because it feels so strong."
But is it actually possible for love to last forever? The definition and duration of love can be debatable, but research suggests that love is frequently resilient – and, in some cases, it can last longer than a lifetime.
Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.
Broken bones. Complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS) Heart attack.
We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.
We don't want to let go of people who are bad for us because our incompatibility is exactly what makes it clear to us how much we love them. It's never easy to let go of someone who has such a power over us, but it must be done.
You'll feel all the pain and betrayal when someone hurts you deeply. Sometimes, you will feel you're left with nothing. However, healing from hurt will always start with you and not from anyone else, even from the one who broke your heart. Some people, though hurt, will still put others first.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships. In other words, with love, your person is “the one” you have feelings for.
Men, in particular, can be guarded when they're hurt. Instead of telling you when they feel hurt, they may withdraw, lash out, or act in other strange ways. These reactions can be frustrating and confusing. But it's important to know both the subtle and clear signs that a man is hurt emotionally.