In order to cope, they need to constantly feel better than others. They always compare themselves to others and when they feel threatened, they will try to make the other person feel worse to elevate themselves and feel superior.
You feel worthless when you are around a narcissist because that is how they want, and need, you to feel. When the narcissist can act in a way that makes you feel guilty, insecure, and uncertain, then they can feel good about themselves. Your unhappiness is the pathway to their happiness.
First, they want to prevent you from setting a boundary with them. Second, they want to feel superior by making you upset and angry. Third, they want to bait you into a confrontation so they can victimize themselves. Fourth, they want more narcissistic supply.
Narcissists often look for victims who struggle with insecurity and low self-esteem. People who think less of themselves and struggle with the “I am not enough” mindset tend to attract toxic partners. People with self-esteem issues tend to think of themselves as imperfect or unlovable.
And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.” Narcissists tear down your self-esteem; leave you swimming in self-doubt. It's how they feel superior.
Narcissists do this to discredit others and put them on the defensive. Example: You always said people have to take responsibility for themselves so I didnt think you needed my help when you had to go to the ER. 11) Ridicule: Mocking or humiliating another person or their requests or feelings.
If you can make someone afraid of you, then you have a far greater chance of manipulating them and controlling them, and that is why a narcissist will seek to destroy the sense of love within you and your ability to love rather than to live.
Narcissists are so insecure that they constantly need praise and admiration from others. They seek it from others and sometimes, even from themselves. The reason is that they want to be superior to all and this is the only way they know how to make themselves feel better.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realize that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
One of the weird things narcissists do involves destroying your happiness and relaxing moments. They will purposefully do things to prevent you from doing something as simple as sleep. Even if you had a long day or are sick, a narcissist may start a fight while you are trying to sleep.
"You're a bad person." "Nobody else will ever love you." "I'm the best you'll ever have." "Have fun being alone for the rest of your life."
Narcissists can use fear as a way to bait their partner. They may make threats, use intimidation tactics, or create a sense of fear or unease in their partner in order to provoke a reaction. For example, a narcissist may threaten to leave the relationship or harm themselves if their partner doesn't do what they want.
Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous. And not just about anyone potentially interested in you romantically, but anyone or anything that can take the focus off of them.
Results revealed that grandiose narcissists induce jealousy as means to acquire power and control, but vulnerable narcissists induce jealousy as a means to acquire power and control, exact revenge on the partner, test and strengthen the relationship, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
According to Julie L. Hall, author of “The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free,” narcissists become more extreme versions of their worst selves as they age, which includes becoming more desperate, deluded, paranoid, angry, abusive, and isolated.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
Habitual Non-Listening
Ever spoken with someone who responded dismissively to everything you said? Narcissists brush aside or deprecate what others say instead of truly listening.
Studies show that the tendency to make cruel remarks is a personality trait of narcissists, because they: See themselves as superior and more important than everyone else, and therefore more deserving.
Silent Treatment Narcissists punish by ignoring. Then they let their victim off the hook by demanding an apology even though she isnt to blame. This is to modify her behavior. They also have a history of cutting others out of their life permanently over small things.