Over-Apologize and Blame Yourself for Everything “I self-sabotage by blaming myself for everything, even if I may not be in the wrong. I question everything and take it to heart so I cannot see myself in a positive light and I also apologize for everything, regardless of fault.
It is now universally recognized by mental health professionals as a debilitating illness that affects every aspect of a person's life. Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging.
Self-Destructive BPD
Risky adrenaline-seeking activities: People with this type of BPD may do these activities without preparing for them first. Self-harm behaviors: These may include cutting, burning, scratching, or hitting. Threats of suicide.
Unstable self-image or sense of self: People with BPD often have a distorted or unclear self-image and often feel guilty or ashamed and see themselves as “bad.” They may also abruptly and dramatically change their self-image, shown by suddenly changing their goals, opinions, careers or friends.
Identifying Episodes
Intense angry outbursts. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm behavior. Going to great lengths to feel something, then becoming increasingly avoidant and withdrawn. Paranoia, feeling as if there is someone out to get you.
BPD makes people more likely to engage in impulsive or risky behaviors, such as: Speeding or other unsafe driving. Unprotected sex or sex with strangers. Binge eating.
During the devaluation phase, individuals with BPD may engage in intense criticism and express their negative opinions about the person they have devalued. This criticism can be harsh, hurtful, and often disproportionate to the situation.
Those with BPD experiencing dissociation often feel lost, scared, and detached from reality. While dissociation is not the primary symptom of BPD, it is one of the symptoms that make getting treatment for BPD all the more urgent.
Some people with quiet BPD can hide their condition and appear successful, independent, and overall high functioning. You might be able to hold a job during the day, but crash into a depressive, anxious, or dissociative state when the day is over. Think of quiet BPD as a mask.
For someone with BPD, anger can be extreme, sudden, and incredibly difficult to control. People with BPD often struggle to control their emotions, leading to intense and inappropriate anger. Even a minor inconvenience or perceived slight can trigger aggressive behavior in someone with BPD.
For example, while a person with typical BPD might show outward signs of rage, a person with quiet BPD might turn that rage inward and engage in self destructive behaviors. Similarly, a person with typical BPD might have crying fits or throw tantrums, while someone with quiet BPD will become moody and withdrawn.
Persons with BPD do not choose manipulation. It mostly happens to them. The way they experience their own emotions in a given situation involving significant others pushes them to resort to manipulative activities.
While not one of the nine criteria for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD), selfishness can be a symptom of the disease. Selfishness interferes with healthy relationships, worsens risky behavior and worsens addiction--all symptoms of BPD. How do we know when we're being selfish?
The actions of people who have BPD can indeed feel manipulative. However, the word 'manipulative', with its pejorative suggestions of malicious scheming, does not capture the true nature of BPD-spurred behavior.
Neurodivergence includes Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Dyscalculia, Dysgraphia, and Tourette Syndrome, as well as some long-term mental health conditions, such as depression and borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Borderline Personality Disorder is a common misdiagnosis for Autistic women and genderqueer people. Complicating matters, BPD and Autism also co-occur at high rates, and an Autistic person is more vulnerable to developing BPD. So a person may have both Autism and BPD.
Distrust, poor empathy and intimacy problems are common in BPD patients, often leading to difficulties in friendships and relationships. These symptoms may appear in both disorders, but typically those with autism are less defensive and are unable to read others' emotions.
Are Gaslighters Aware of What They Do? Some people who gaslight others are aware of their actions and have even studied how to improve their techniques.
Psychotic episodes include hallucinations or delusions. Psychosis can occur in both schizophrenia and borderline personality disorder, but psychotic episodes in BPD are, by definition, short, fleeting, and related to stress.
The volatility is directed inward rather than out. If you have quiet BPD, you 'act in', and you experience the entire gamut of emotions - fear of rejection, mood swings, rage, obsessive emotional attachment, self-doubt, anxiety, etc. However, you do not show your inner turmoils on the outside.
Examples of BPD splitting behavior include: Perceiving everything in black and white: Splitting forces the person into a position of thinking that everything is either perfect or awful, and since life is full of struggles and disappointments, they will usually see things as awful.
A borderline narcissist can be described as a person who has BPD and narcissistic traits or co-occurring NPD. In such cases, the BPD individual presents with an unstable sense of self or disconnect from self, poor self-esteem, hypersensitivity to criticism, defensiveness, and feelings of insecurity.