Accused people often feel hurt that their partner or other people involved don't trust them enough to believe their innocence, and they may feel distraught at their integrity being questioned, and that the entire situation is unjust.
Anger and aggression are two other common initial reactions to accusations of cheating. Cheaters often use anger as a form of deflection to turn the situation around and make accusations against you instead, like that you don't trust them enough.
Getting angry after being accused of wrongdoing does not necessarily mean the person is guilty. Anger and resentment are also natural responses to being blamed for something you didn't do.
The more serious the accusation, the angrier they reacted—and many said what made them especially mad was being unfairly judged. "It seems to be inherently more aggravating to be accused of something you haven't done because there's the added element of it being unjust."
There could be a variety of reasons why your boyfriend might get mad when you ask him if he's cheated. Maybe he feels insulted or hurt that you don't trust him. Maybe he's upset that you're questioning his character. Or maybe he's just frustrated that you keep bringing up the same topic.
Some cheaters deflect or change the subject.
Rather than answering your questions, they might fire back with a question or accusation of their own, or start an argument about an unrelated issue.
Common reactions include surprise and disbelief, denial of the accusation, anger and frustration, a desire to prove their innocence, and a willingness to cooperate with any efforts to investigate the situation.
“We conducted four studies showing that people think that anger is a cue to guilt, and two studies showing that people who are falsely accused, versus rightfully accused, are actually more likely to be angry,” Adams said.
One of the most common reactions to being accused of cheating is anger. It's a knee-jerk reaction and it's often the case when someone is actually guilty – not always, but often. They're desperately scrambling to cover it up and their emotions rise to the point where anger takes over.
As an adult, we often deal with guilt by reacting with anger. Anger is an emotion that we use to create boundaries. As an adult, reacting in anger when we experience those emotions of guilt, embarrassment or shame, is a way to protect the ego.
They may turn the tables. As a common coping mechanism, you can also expect a cheater to turn the tables and put the spotlight on you. “When all else fails, you can expect them to get very critical of you. They'll shift the blame on you, criticizing every single conversation you have with the opposite sex.
When a narcissist is caught cheating and lying, they often make up a heap of more lies to convince you that they've been nothing but faithful. Even if you have evidence of cheating, they're likely to deny everything and even project their infidelity onto you.
Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior. You may notice subtle changes in their behavior that make you wonder if your spouse is displaying cheating husband guilt.
A cheating partner can exhibit angry, defensive behavior if they feel guilty about committing an infidelity, which can sometimes cause them to overreact even to seemingly small questions.
Projection is a hallmark sign of the narcissist. If they are cheating (which is more common among narcissists than others), they will accuse you of cheating. These accusations ramp up when you go out of town or engage in an activity without them. Also, time away means less attention for them.
They try to justify everything they do — not just whatever they lied to you about, but any action they take. “If [they] are constantly sharing all the reasons they need to take a certain action or think a certain way…they might be suffering from guilt,” psychotherapist and relationship expert Kelly Bos, tells Bustle.
Guilt, Fishkin says, is associated with activity in the prefrontal cortex, the logical-thinking part of the brain. Guilt can also trigger activity in the limbic system. (That's why it can feel so anxiety-provoking.)
Some people may get angry when they are caught lying, due to the feeling of being exposed. When someone is caught in a lie, their initial reaction may be one of anger and embarrassment.
Behaviors That Can Create the Appearance of Guilt
They may avoid eye contact, fidget, or act defensively when questioned. Unfortunately, these behaviors can make them look guilty, even if they have done nothing wrong.
The leading factors in wrongful convictions are: Eyewitness misidentification. False confessions. Police and prosecutorial misconduct.
When you're not cheating but are accused of it, there are three typical sources of your partner's accusations: Fear and insecurity based on your respective pasts or present-day issues that mean that they don't feel safe and secure. Mistaking certain behaviours from you as indicators of cheating, so hypersensitivity.