You want someone you can't have due to the brain's reward system (dopamine from the challenge), low self-esteem (seeking validation), the thrill of the chase, attachment issues (unmet childhood needs), or a fear of intimacy/real commitment, often creating a fantasy where the person is "perfect" but safe because they're unavailable, according to Quora users and Psych Central. It's a complex mix of psychology, unmet needs, and brain chemistry that makes unattainable people exciting and addictive.
3-6-9 rule is 3 months honeymoon phase of the relationship 6 months is conflict stage, 9 months is the decision phase is this really worth pursuing or not.
How to Stop Wanting Someone You Can't Have
Romantic rejection can lead to increased yearning because it stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings. New research also suggests the reasoning individuals fall for the unavailable may actually be scientific, some people cant help it.
This is known as the scarcity principle. When something is scarce or difficult to obtain, our brain perceives it as more desirable. It's why limited edition products sell out quickly, why we're drawn to unattainable relationships, and why forbidden things often seem the most tempting.
The 777 dating rule is a relationship strategy for intentional connection, suggesting couples schedule a date every 7 days, an overnight getaway every 7 weeks, and a longer vacation every 7 months to keep the spark alive, build memories, and prevent disconnection from daily life. It's about consistent, quality time, not necessarily grand gestures, and focuses on undivided attention to strengthen intimacy and partnership over time.
The four stages of limerence describe the obsessive, fantasy-driven experience of intense romantic longing, typically progressing from initial Attraction/Infatuation, where curiosity grows into idealization, to Obsession, marked by intrusive thoughts and longing, then through Elation & Despair, depending on perceived reciprocation, and finally to a Resolution, where feelings fade into stable attachment or detachment, potentially leading to transformation or heartbreak.
The 2-2-2 rule in love is a relationship guideline to keep connections strong by scheduling regular, dedicated time together: a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a week-long vacation every two years, helping couples prioritize each other and break daily routines to maintain intimacy and fun.
Fraysexual means experiencing strong sexual attraction to strangers or people you don't know well, with that attraction fading as emotional intimacy or familiarity grows; it's essentially the opposite of demisexuality, where connection comes before attraction, and it's considered part of the asexual spectrum, sometimes called ignotasexuality. Fraysexual individuals often prefer emotionless or low-emotion sexual encounters and find their desire decreases with emotional closeness, though they can still form romantic bonds.
Factors like attraction, fascination, and admiration might explain why you feel like you can't stop thinking about someone. Sometimes, this interest might be a sign of a problem, so it's important to recognize when this represents more of an obsession than mere interest.
The "65% rule of breakups" refers to research suggesting couples often separate when relationship satisfaction drops below a critical threshold, around 65% of the maximum possible score, indicating distress is too high to continue. While not a formal psychological law, experts use the idea to suggest that if you feel significantly unhappy (e.g., 65% sure the relationship isn't working), it might be time to consider ending it to create space for peace and something healthier, rather than staying in a failing situation.
In a relationship, pocketing means one partner keeps the other hidden from their friends, family, and social life, treating them like a secret or something kept "in their pocket" rather than integrating them into their world, often signaling a lack of commitment or shame. This involves avoiding introductions, keeping the relationship off social media, and making excuses for why the partner can't meet important people, making the hidden partner feel isolated and questioning their worth.
How to emotionally detach from someone: 5 proven steps
survived the dreaded two-year mark (i.e. the most common time period when couples break up), then you're destined to be together forever… right? Unfortunately, the two-year mark isn't the only relationship test to pass, nor do you get to relax before the seven-year itch.
However in Strauss' book, the three second rule is a very different concept. It refers to the idea that when guys see a woman they fancy, they have three seconds to approach her, make eye contact, or strike up a conversation before she loses interest - or he bottles it.
The 7-7-7 rule is a structured method for couples to regularly reconnect, involving a date night every 7 days, a weekend getaway every 7 weeks, and a kid-free vacation every 7 months.
The acronym LGBTIQCAPGNGFNBA is an extensive, evolving term representing diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, standing for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer/Questioning, Curious, Asexual, Pansexual, Gender Nonconforming, Non-Binary, Gender-Fluid, Fraysexual, Non-Binary, Bisexual (sometimes), and Androgynous, with variations like adding a "+" for even more identities (Two-Spirit, etc.). It's a way to be inclusive of the vast spectrum of identities beyond the original LGBT, though some letters are used playfully or to emphasize specific identities, notes wikiHow.
Abrosexuality describes a sexual orientation that is fluid and changes over time. This means an abrosexual person's attractions to different genders, or even their level of sexual interest, can shift over days, weeks, months, or years.
Orchidsexual is a sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum in which one experiences sexual attraction, but does not desire a sexual relationship. They may not want to have or dislike having sexual experiences. It can be used as a label by itself or as an umbrella term.
The 70/30 rule in relationships suggests balancing time together (70%) with personal time apart (30%) for hobbies, friends, and self-growth, promoting independence and preventing codependency, while another view says it's about accepting 70% of your partner as "the one" and learning to live with the other 30% of quirks, requiring effort to manage major issues within that space, not a pass for abuse. Both interpretations emphasize finding a sustainable balance and acknowledging that relationships aren't always 50/50, with the key being communication and effort, not strict adherence to numbers.
While many factors contribute, many experts point to poor communication (especially criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) and a breakdown in emotional connection/trust, often stemming from dishonesty or disrespect, as the #1 things that destroy marriages, eroding intimacy and making partners feel unheard and unloved over time. Infidelity, financial stress, and shifting priorities (like putting family/in-laws above spouse) are also major contributors that feed these core issues.
While Jesus makes it plain that divorce and remarriage without biblical grounds is sinfully adulterous (Matt. 19:9; cf. 1 Cor. 7:10–11), he also acknowledges that those who are divorced are truly divorced (not still married in God's eyes) and those who have remarried are truly married.
5: Our Own Needs, Emotions and Desires.
The highest level of intimacy, requires the greatest amount of trust in our relationship. It is only when we feel truly safe with somebody, that we become willing to share the deepest core of who we are. It's up close and personal.
Limerence has also been tied to trauma. Early childhood abandonment or neglect may correlate with the likelihood of experiencing limerence, and it has been associated with post-traumatic stress disorder as well as obsessive-compulsive disorder.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.