When a guy runs hot and cold on you, it's highly likely that he's insecure. He is blowing hot when he's feeling strong emotions about you. After the first few months of dating, he begins to panic. He gets anxious that you don't like him as much as he does.
Guys sometimes blow hot and cold when they are overwhelmed by their emotions. This can actually be a result of them liking you a lot. It's possible that he is feeling scared by his own emotions and doesn't know how to handle them.
One of the most frequent causes for him acting interested one minute and distant the next has to do with the biology and psychology of men. There is a little-known idea that compels a guy to commit or flee. This has to do with how he feels about you. You see, it all comes down to bringing out the inner hero in men.
Hot and cold behaviour is a manifestation of mixed signals — some indication that a person likes us, followed by something that can be interpreted as the opposite. That word interpreted is crucial because these signals can be real or imaginary — you are the person who assigns meaning to them.
One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. He lacks the confidence to approach you or share his feelings with you, fearing you might reject him. He feels that sharing his true feelings might ruin your friendship with him.
Do guys distance themselves when they like a girl or guy? Yes, if they are not convinced the person loves them as much as they love that person. Some men might like you but don't want to look desperate. They believe you might want to take them for granted.
He may have detected that you're interested in more than just hooking up, and he's trying to back away slowly. His sudden lack of interest could signal he wants to end things, or that he wants to keep you at a distance. Either way, if he's not interested in more than sex, and you are, it's probably not a good match.
Have you ever heard the saying 'blowing hot and cold'? This is an expression that I use to describe a form of behaviour that is both manipulative and destructive. If it is easily spotted, you can break yourself from the destructive cycle.
An emotionally unavailable man has a difficult time knowing how to engage in the real-stuff conversations. In some instances, he may have some capacity to listen, but is emotionally shutting that part of himself down so that you don't get too close. If that's the case, you will likely feel shut down and alone.
Look out for body language cues that signal that he is uncomfortable or disinterested in your interactions. He may try to move away from you, cross his arms in front of him, or turn away from you while you are talking. He may also try to avoid physical contact, like a hug or you touching his arm, he is not interested.
Many guys hate failing and feeling inadequate. They often don't have the speed of words to compete with their partner in a conflict. Men's emotional processing capacity is often much slower than their partner. Whilst being silent is a sign of a man's need to process it is also a way to avoid the feelings of defeat.
He'll stand close to you. He might place his hands on you casually, like touching your arm or your shoulder when laughing at a joke. “A guy who holds your hand or puts his arm around you is showing interest. We don't tend to touch people we don't like, so touch can be an indication of attraction.”
The biggest tip for how to give a guy space is to be genuine about it. Instead of viewing it as a game, go out and live your life. Connect with friends, be independent, show him that you love spending time with him, but you're just as happy to be on your own if he isn't interested.
Cold individuals often seek to isolate the self from others, whereas warm individuals are, if anything, sometimes too dependent on others and motivated to please them (Strack & Lorr, 1994; Wiggins & Pincus, 1989).
11) He wants to hurt you
This is perhaps one of the reasons why he's giving you the cold shoulder. He wants to hurt you deeply. See, a prolonged silent treatment will make you doubt everything you hold dear. You begin questioning where you went wrong and if you truly deserve what has come to you.
Quite often this can mean he's intensely attracted to you, and not sure how to cope with it. Men today often struggle with this. For one thing, showing uncontrolled emotion is not masculine. If you arouse strong emotions in him, then he immediately feels uncomfortable when that intensity of feeling arises.
He Is Afraid Of His Feelings For You
Maybe this is the first time he is experiencing such intense feelings for someone, and this scares him. He might be scared of the fact that he will disappoint you or doubtful if he is ready to commit. Being afraid of feelings and love is the number one reason men pull away.
He's less responsive to your texts and phone calls.
Signs a guy is losing interest through text include taking a long time to respond, being unavailable to chat, and a lack of enthusiasm when you do talk. Do you notice that he has time to post on social media but isn't getting back to you?
The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they'll feel tomorrow, or the next day.