Why Are Some People Shy? Shyness is partly a result of genes a person has inherited. It's also influenced by behaviors they've learned, the ways people have reacted to their shyness, and life experiences they've had.
In many cases, social awkwardness comes from extreme anxiety. Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that 12.1% of U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder at some time in their lives.
Someone with social anxiety may feel extremely nervous in social situations, but present as extroverted and confident. Other people might not even be able to detect their anxiety. Shyness tends to be more apparent, although it often presents as situational. In other words, shyness tends to flare at certain times.
Although it's not always clear why, there are a few possible explanations, including negative self-image, bullying, personality traits, and a lack of experience of social interaction. Most people are shy from time to time, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Shyness doesn't always go away over time, but children can learn to be more confident and comfortable interacting with other people.
Most of the time, no. But when it becomes anxiety, watch out.
Many biological conditions can lead to social difficulties, including autism. However, not all autistic individuals will display social awkwardness (though they may struggle inwardly). Moreover, not everyone who is socially awkward is autistic. And, in fact, they don't necessarily have a diagnosable condition.
Most people find that the more they practice socializing, the easier it gets. Practicing social skills — like assertiveness; conversation; and friendly, confident body language — can help people overcome shyness, build confidence, and get more enjoyment from everyday experiences.
Practice social behaviors like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable around. Smile. Build your confidence this way. Then branch out to do this with new friends, too.
Someone who is socially inept may be shy, have social anxiety, or simply not have much experience socializing. The opposite of socially inept is socially adept, a social pro who knows how to greet people, start conversations, and make others feel comfortable in their presence.
There can be several reasons for being weird: Some have less social training and simply need to spend more time socializing. Some have social anxiety that makes them believe that small social mistakes are bigger than they really are. Some have autism/Aspergers, ADHD, etc, making it harder for them to socialize.
Avoidance of social activities is also much less common with those who are shy. Although most with social anxiety experience symptoms of shyness, being shy does not mean you will have social anxiety. Less than 25% of shy individuals in the US have symptoms that meet the diagnostic criteria for social anxiety disorder.
First choices in medications
Your health care provider may prescribe paroxetine (Paxil) or sertraline (Zoloft).
In fact, psychologists have consistently found that both men and women rate humility as one of the most desirable traits in a partner. And what group of people are much more likely than average to have this highly sought-after trait? Yep, shy people.
If you are nervous, you might frown, look worried or look away. If you are wary or uneasy, you might look guarded, defensive or cross your arms. If you feel shy or unsure, you might cover your mouth or face with your hand or look at the ground.
ADHD may result in some symptoms that can make a person “socially clumsy.” If you often find yourself saying and doing inappropriate things during conversations, you might be experiencing social awkwardness.
Although 2019 research suggests some symptoms of ADHD and ASD overlap, there are distinct differences. A person with ADHD may have attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity challenges. But an autistic individual may have difficulties with communication, social interaction, and restricted or repetitive behaviors.
Introversion is a personality type, while shyness is an emotion. People who are shy tend to feel awkward or uncomfortable when they're in social situations, especially when they're around strangers. They may feel so nervous, they become sweaty. Their heart may beat quicker, and they may get a stomachache.
Is shyness necessarily a bad thing? Chloe Foster, a clinical psychologist at the Centre for Anxiety Disorders and Trauma in London, says shyness in itself is quite common and normal and doesn't cause problems unless it develops into more of a social anxiety.
Shyness can affect how you see yourself and may make you feel insecure in some aspects. While a person with low self-esteem might act shy or have a tendency to keep to themselves, it doesn't mean that someone who experiences shyness is also experiencing low self-esteem.