We're Emotionally Unavailable The main reason we attract — or are attracted to — emotionally unavailable partners is because a part of us is emotionally unavailable as well. The fact is, an emotionally connected partner is not going to stick around an emotionally inept relationship. Healthy relationships expect growth.
Perhaps you consciously want commitment, but deep down you fear true intimacy, losing your sense of self in the relationship, or getting hurt. As a result, it may feel safer to be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, because you know on some level that you don't have to fully commit to the other person.
A need to chase after people who can't actually love tends to stem from unresolved childhood issues, or even trauma. Self-help is a good start, and there are wonderful books out there to help with things like codependency and attachment issues.
In other words, an emotionally unavailable person may not be able to relate to you, put themselves in your shoes, or consider your feelings when making a decision. This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs.
An emotionally unavailable man may miss you when you take a break from the relationship, are away from his immediate reach, or feel detached from you. Research has shown that although emotionally unavailable, the emotionally unavailable man is not without feelings.
When someone who is emotionally unavailable gives you attention, you instantly feel an attraction because somewhere deep down you resonate with them. It gets easier for you to express yourself and before you know it, you are in a trap.
Being emotionally unavailable does not make you a bad person or someone incapable of love. It only means that you have some personal development to do in order to be a good partner. As with all things romance and life, it's a learning experience.
Most of the time no contact with an emotionally unavailable man or woman works because it gives them the space and the time they need to think about themselves and their relationship. Often dumpers do come back because they have had the time to reflect on their actions and emotions.
Emotional attachment can sometimes get a little too intense and become more of an emotional dependency. This dependency can negatively affect the relationship and your well-being.
Emotional detachment can occur in relationships as well. Periods of disconnect are common in relationships and usually resolve once both partners are in a place to reconnect.
We're Emotionally Unavailable
The main reason we attract — or are attracted to — emotionally unavailable partners is because a part of us is emotionally unavailable as well. The fact is, an emotionally connected partner is not going to stick around an emotionally inept relationship. Healthy relationships expect growth.
They Are Slow to Commit to You
An emotionally unavailable person is typically not willing or able to truly commit to you and be loyal to you. This type of person will often want to keep things casual and undefined so as to not deal with any of the emotional components that go into a long-term relationship.
Jealousy is about a lot of things, including insecurity, immaturity, and fear. Emotionally unavailable men may experience jealousy more intensely because they bottle up their feelings.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
Emotional detachment could also be the result of acute trauma or abuse. A healthcare professional may be able to see when you're not emotionally available to others. They may also talk with you, a family member, or a significant other about your behaviors.
It can be ongoing, as it is in people with attachment disorders, or it can be a temporary response to an extreme situation. Find encouragement and support through 1-1 messaging and advice from others dealing with major depressive disorder.
Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.
Emotional attachment is a normal part of development. You are driven to connect to those that provide a sense of protection, comfort, and validation. Attachment can become toxic if you rely too much on others to satisfy emotional needs.
The exact cause of attachment disorders is not known, but research suggests that inadequate care-giving is a possible cause. The physical, emotional and social problems associated with attachment disorders may persist as the child grows older.