A eulogy is typically read by a close family member (spouse, child, sibling) or a close friend, but can also be delivered by a funeral celebrant, minister, or priest, or even a colleague to represent professional life. Often, multiple people share tributes, with roles depending on the family's wishes and the deceased's life aspects.
The eulogy itself is typically given by a close family member, friend or a minister. There's no reason why two people cannot deliver the eulogy, or in some cases, it may be more appropriate to open the eulogies to all attendees.
There is no hard and fast rule as to who should give the eulogy speech at a funeral. It's typically given by those who were particularly close, or had a special relationship with, the loved one who passed. It could be a best friend, a spouse, a child or grandchild, or even a co-worker.
It is a tribute to the person who died and can be delivered by family members or friends. Often the eulogy will tell stories from their life and give an overview of their achievements. The eulogy can also be read out by your humanist funeral celebrant, should you wish.
Approach the task with great sensitivity and caring for the deceased and his family. You might ask the family if there is anything they feel should be mentioned or not mentioned. Relate stories that show the deceased in a positive light, and handle any humor with care for how it may be received by all.
Common Mistakes To Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
You might have mixed feelings about reading a eulogy
The important thing is to work to your own comfort levels. If you don't feel up to it, or are already feeling overwhelmed with organising the funeral or cremation, you might suggest someone else reads for you.
Funeral directors often won't tell you about more affordable options, like renting urns/caskets or buying them online, the non-necessity of embalming, or that many services are optional, often focusing instead on upselling expensive packages; you can request itemized price lists, use alternative containers for cremation, and veterans get free burial, so it pays to ask questions and shop around. They also might not mention that "sealed" caskets don't stop decomposition or that funeral insurance can be risky, while also using suggestive language to encourage spending.
A close friend or family members, even your funeral director, can be good to turn to. Practice, practice, practice – The more you practice, the easier it'll be on the day. You don't have to memorise it word for word, but it's good to familiarise yourself with the eulogy ahead of the ceremony.
The best eulogy opening introduces yourself and your relationship to the deceased, sets a respectful tone, thanks attendees, and can start with a meaningful quote, a short anecdote, or a core quality that defined them, immediately connecting with the audience and honoring the person's life. Key elements are establishing your connection, acknowledging the shared grief, and giving a brief glimpse into the person's essence.
The end of a eulogy offers comfort and helps people begin to say goodbye. Simple, heartfelt words in your own voice leave a lasting impression. A short thank you or memory adds warmth and connection. You could use a quote or verse only if it truly fits the person and your message.
In addition to gender, there are no specific requirements for who can serve as a pallbearer. The only requirement is that the individual must be physically able to carry the weight of the casket, which can weigh up to 400 pounds in total and 66 pounds per person (six handles).
Typically, eulogies are presented by family members, friends, or individuals close to the deceased. Often there is more than one eulogy, with two or three people close to the deceased speaking.
The right length of time for a eulogy is between 3 - 5 minutes. You want your speech to hold the audience's attention while really being able to convey what your loved one meant to you. By keeping the eulogy simple and concise, you'll feel less overwhelmed when writing it and more confident when delivering it.
11 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing a Eulogy
During a funeral, maintaining a respectful atmosphere is of utmost importance. As such, using a cell phone to text or keeping sounds on is considered rude and disruptive. These actions can break the solemn atmosphere of the service — potentially interrupting poignant moments of reflection or eulogies.
Leave out any mentions of questionable behaviour or long-held grudges. A eulogy is not an opportunity to “roast” the deceased. There is certainly a place for humour and warmth but the content of a remembrance speech should always remain respectful.
Simply pause and take a minute to breathe and focus on your breath. The guests will understand and not fault you for needing a minute. If you feel as if you simply cannot make it through the speech, ask another person to deliver it for you.
No matter what may be going through your head right now—you can do this. In this article, we've broken down a eulogy into three parts: introduction, middle, and conclusion, with examples to help guide you.
While you could be used to saying “goodbye” to people upon your departure, avoid doing so at the funeral service as this is believed to be an invitation for the spirit of the deceased to visit you at home.
In many cultures, the number 40 carries profound symbolic meaning. It represents a period of transition, purification, and spiritual transformation. The 40-day period is often seen as a time for the departed's soul to complete its journey to the afterlife, seeking forgiveness, redemption, and peace.
The most expensive part of a funeral is often the funeral director's services, encompassing facility use, staff, logistics, and paperwork, but the choice between burial and cremation significantly impacts costs, with elaborate burials (including plots, vaults, and headstones) typically costing much more than simpler cremations, and high-end caskets or large vaults also adding substantial expense, according to sources like Wagg Funeral Home.
The end of a eulogy offers comfort and helps people begin to say goodbye. Simple, heartfelt words in your own voice leave a lasting impression. A short thank you or memory adds warmth and connection. You could use a quote or verse only if it truly fits the person and your message.
Guest Speaker or Eulogist
Another important choice is the person or people who will write and deliver a speech – a eulogy – about the life of the person who has died. The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life.
It brings a sense of meaning to a death, helps with mourning, and reminds everyone of what truly matters. By sharing stories and offering tribute, you're giving others a chance to grieve, reflect, and even smile. In the hardest of moments, your words can become a lasting comfort.