Generally, women suffer more financially than do men from divorce.
Statistics show that while women initiate divorce almost twice the rate that men do, women are also much more likely to greatly struggle financially after divorce. This is particularly true if children are involved.
And while media often shows men finding relief after “escaping the bear trap” of a bad marriage, and casts women in a desperate, “washed-up” light, research continues to show that women often report being happier after divorce.
As a culture, we tend to assume that women are more emotional than men. However, numerous studies have shown that divorce is actually an experience that is tougher for men to cope with. In fact, many ex- husbands allow their health and happiness to be affected by the outcome of their divorce.
Divorce puts a strain on the financial, social, and emotional relationships of the partners. This time particularly can be devastating for women who may lose confidence, be forced into custody issues, and may lose hope of ever finding happiness again. Some women find it hard to return to their normal self again.
There are five common emotions people experience during the divorce process. They are often referred to as the five stages of grief. They include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Naturally, these expand to more nuanced emotions that vary based on your circumstances.
Emotional and Psychological Effects of Divorce on Women
Women tend to have a higher frequency of identity problems during and after a divorce. Many women are focused on being superb mothers and wives during the marriage then face the sudden loss of the second self-identity.
Research has shown that divorce is harder on men than on women. Generally, men have more to lose in terms of happiness and health after a divorce than their wives.
In a study done by Pennsylvania State University, the top reasons men listed for divorce was incompatibility, infidelity, lack of communication and personality problems. There are times where life chews you up and spits you out.
Both ex-spouses take a loss, but typically, men suffer a larger hit to their standard of living than women — between 10 and 40% — due to alimony and child support responsibilities, the need for a separate place to live, an extra set of household furniture and other expenses.
Shame is one of the most toxic emotions associated with divorce. And people feel it for all sorts of reasons. Some people feel shame for “failing” at their marriages or putting on a brave face for too long. Others feel shame for being unfaithful, or for having a partner that was unfaithful to them.
The study found that on average unhappily married adults who divorced were no happier than unhappily married adults who stayed married when rated on any of 12 separate measures of psychological well-being. Divorce did not typically reduce symptoms of depression, raise self-esteem, or increase a sense of mastery.
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
Men undergoing and even after their divorce are more likely to suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, and insomnia (inability to sleep). Due to physical and emotional health issues, their immune system gets weakened. They are more likely to suffer from colds and flu than others.
Perhaps the most difficult period of divorce is the “separation period.” That is the time between when you decide to get a divorce, and the date when you are actually divorced.
Men may find themselves holding onto a marriage that has gone past its expiration date for fear of being alone. Starting over again in relationships when you are not ready to hit the singles scene can feel extremely intimidating. Divorce can really damage a man's self-worth and hope in finding someone else.
But what is the most common age to get divorced? The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39. Women are more likely to file for divorce than men.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
While some may be happier after a divorce, research indicates most adults that divorce have lower levels of happiness and more psychological distress compared to married individuals. Divorce can bring up new conflicts between couples that cause more tension than when they were married.
When a man is going through a divorce, he's losing the woman who was supposed to be his soulmate, his lifelong partner, so it's natural for him to grieve the loss. When men try to bury their feelings and skip the grieving period, naturally, they still “feel” the loss.
Divorce is often one of the most stressful events you'll ever experience. It throws your entire life into upheaval in one go. It's common for men to experience bouts of post-divorce depression. Everyone faces these risks, both men and women.
Often the one being left swings topsy-turvy through feelings of shock, deep hurt, intense sadness, anger, even rage, love and longing for the spouse and grieving the same losses as the one who is leaving the marriage. All of these feelings are part of the grief cycle of divorce.
According to a survey, 39% of men regret being divorced. But it is not as simple as it seems. This statistic has many layers to it – for example, a man who has committed marital wrongdoing that triggered the divorce may regret the event, but a man who has been wronged during the marriage may not regret it.
Anger is a common emotion to feel during the divorce experience. It speaks to the intensity of affection you had during your marriage, and when that ended, there was no other way to express the sudden change in the physical, mental, and emotional makeup of your life.