Narcissists benefit from being with people who will forgive them for being hurtful. They will continuously hurt you, so in order for them to continue in the relationship, they need to be with someone who does not hold grudges. Loyal. Narcissists require loyalty.
Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people. Someone who validates their feelings, overlooks their flaws, and who isn't likely to leave them during the narcissistic abuse.
They like people who are strong
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
One of the most common misconceptions is that narcissists only look for emotionally dependent partners who lack confidence and self-esteem. In fact, narcissists are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women.
The narcissist chooses to marry the person they believe they can have the most control over. This isn't meant to victim blame and to say the partner or spouse has done anything wrong. The narcissist knows that other people are caring and want to please, so they look for people that have these qualities.
Many people with narcissistic personality disorder appear to be in a successful and happy marriage. Their social media posts show them laughing together over a special dinner, walking hand-in-hand along the beach, and even renewing their marriage vows in front of friends and family.
Unfortunately, narcissists are unable to put the happiness of anyone else ahead of their own. Nor can they offer unconditional love to another due to their obsession with status and achievement. One of the narcissistic traits that makes it so hard for narcissists to love another is their lack of empathy.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Many narcissists pride themselves on being expert lovers who can give a partner multiple orgasms and the best experience of their lives. The only downside to this is that narcissists might expect their partners to rhapsodize over their lovemaking skill, and may even prompt partners to discuss this in awkward detail.
The best way to know if a narcissist loves you is by looking at their behavior over time rather than just relying on words or expressions of affection. If they are consistently putting your needs first, even when it doesn't directly benefit them, then it may be possible that they truly care for you.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
It may sound harsh, but many of the features of NPD are antithetical to love. Narcissists may show you love and act in loving ways, but this tends to be conditional, in that displays of love depend on what you can give them in return. For people with NPD, relationships tend to be transactional.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
Narcissists' Greatest Fear
To narcissists, ordinary people (i.e., nearly everybody around them) aren't worthy of attention, so being ordinary would leave them unworthy of the spotlight and left to suffocate. Narcissists also need to feel special and superior to others.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Although empathy for animals and humans is certainly related, it is possible for pet owners with narcissistic traits, particularly Narcissistic Neuroticism, to have empathy and love for a pet despite having low empathy for humans.
Sexual narcissists typically demonstrate a lack of empathy for their partner's needs in an effort to serve their own intimacy needs. They may do so while engaging in aggressive behavior, or more generally by ignoring their partner's requests or preferences in order to prioritize their own.
Some narcissists may have healthy, loving relationships with their mothers, but many will struggle due to their narcissistic character traits. The narcissist's need for admiration and validation means they will often put unrealistic demands on their mothers, while their need for control makes them manipulative.
Narcissists are known for their lack of empathy, which impacts all their relationships, including those with their mothers. They are often dismissive, neglectful, or manipulative, using their mother to fulfill their own needs without considering her feelings.