However, when it comes to remarrying after the death of a spouse, there is no set timeline or acceptable wait time. According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry. The study also revealed that men are more likely to remarry than women.
However, men are more likely to remarry after losing their spouse; more than 60 percent of men but less than 20 percent of women are involved in a new romance or remarriage within two years of being widowed.
Up to you. Stereotypes say that men date sooner and remarry more quickly than women do, and there is statistical validity in this. Average time frame for widowers who remarry is about two – three years while for widows, it's three to five years.
Remarriage probabilities are very high for persons widowed before age 35. Remarriage probabilities decrease faster for widows than widowers. Less than one-fourth of men widowed after age 65 ever remarry. Less than 5% of women widowed after age 55 ever remarry.
She told The Wall Street Journal, "In the first year after a spouse's death, 54% of men have a sexual relationship, compared with 7% of women. By 25 months after a spouse's death, 61% of men had a new relationship, versus 19% of women, and 25% of men had remarried, versus 5% of women."
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
Writing at The Huffington Post about the fact that men remarry more quickly in general, therapist Emily Gordon explains that as with grief, men typically simply have fewer therapeutic resources and less emotional support to weather the storm of separation or loss.
One of the statistics Keogh cites is how within two years of becoming a widower, 61% of widowed men find themselves in a serious relationship or had remarried compared to only 19% of widows. Keogh writes, “widowers are eight times more likely to remarry over their lifetimes vs. widows.” Remarkable!
Men Are More Likely to Remarry
This data indicates that men are consistently more likely to attempt a second marriage than women. Over the past decade, there has been a decline in remarriage rates for both men and women.
35 to 44 years – 57% will remarry. 45 to 54 years – 63% will remarry. 55 to 64 years – 67% will remarry. 65 years and older – 50% will remarry.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
One major warning sign is if the widower is still grieving intensely or not ready to move on from their previous relationship. Another red flag is if they constantly compare you to their late spouse or refuse to let go of their belongings.
Or perhaps they are just more selfish. A recent study found two-thirds of widowers were in a new relationship within 25 months, in contrast to less than a fifth of widows. Over the age of 65, the discrepancy is even larger, with ten times as many widowers as widows remarrying.
There's no age limit for love and romance—but there are important points to consider before you tie the knot again.
They will always love their spouse.
That doesn't mean, however, that a widower will love someone new any less. “Yes, we can love deeply again. Very deeply,” Polo says.
Yes, it's normal for widowers to talk about the late wife and their life together. This need to talk about the late wife and their past life together often helps make the transition from the old to new life.
While many couples see remarriage as a second chance at happiness, the statistics tell a different story. According to available Census data, the divorce rate for second marriages in the United States is over 60% compared to around 50% for first marriages.
Money, Sex, and In-Laws. The above “big three” issues are the primary problems that plague most first marriages. These same issues also impact subsequent marriages—but even more so. The money problem becomes even more troublesome in second marriages due to child support and spousal maintenance payments.
The median amount of time that it takes someone to get married after a divorce is 3.7 years, which has been fairly stable since 1950. Sadly, the average length of time for second marriages ending in divorce will typically just under eight years.
Finding love again after the death of an intimate partner can be a joyous experience for those who are ready. However, this type of life transition can raise issues around trust, intimacy, and communication. It can also present unique challenges for those with children or when considering blending families.
Approximately 2% of older widows and 20% of older widowers ever remarry (Smith, Zick, & Duncan, 1991).
The widowhood effect is a phenomenon in which older people who have lost a spouse have an increased risk of dying themselves. 1 Research suggests that this risk is highest during the first three months following the death of a spouse.
When someone dies, you tend to focus mostly on all of their good qualities. All of a sudden, even the worst spouse suddenly becomes a saint in the widow's eyes. Some people feel that it's too much pressure dating a widow because it's hard to live up to that standard, and they fear being compared to their dead spouse.
In these cases, the median length for men is 7.3 years, while for women it drops to 6.8 years. If a person does ultimately remarry, the average time between divorce and the next wedding is around three years—3.3 years for men, 3.1 years for women.
Dating a widower is hard because the process of grieving is different for each person. The death of a loved one is a very difficult pain to get over and depending on the circumstances, a widower may find it difficult to open up or commit to a new relationship.