Taking it further, we can ask: “What do narcissists actually fear most?” Let's consider several possibilities:
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image. They believe that how they are viewed by others, and how they view themselves, will shield them against realities of life that few of us like but most of us come to accept.
Narcissists do not handle challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury) well. Narcissists often have an intense need for control and power, and any direct challenge to their dominance may provoke them and lead to more aggressive behavior or retaliation.
It is the person who has become codependent (as a result of prior experiences) who is actually most vulnerable to narcissists.
One of the keys to spotting narcissistic personality disorder is observing the “three Es” — exploitation, entitlement, and empathy impairment.
According to mean scale and item scores analyses, narcissism increased significantly from age 14 to 18, followed by a slight but non-significant decline from age 18 to 23.
1. Gross Sense of Entitlement. A gross sense of entitlement is one of the main defining traits of a narcissist, as narcissists tend to believe they're far superior to others and deserving of special treatment. This inflated belief leads most narcissists to believe that their needs should be met without question.
Ultimately, a healthy relationship with a narcissist is dependent on the non-narcissistic partner having good self-esteem, solid boundaries, a support network, and a reason to stay.
In the workplace (as in social life outside) narcissists will employ bullying and humiliation to silence employees who do not apparently recognise them as superior. Needless to say : it can be the best and most insightful employees who have immediately recognised this as fact.
Like other personality traits, narcissism is moderately heritable and partly rooted in early emerging temperamental traits (33). Some children, because of their temperamental traits, might be more likely than others to become narcissistic when exposed to parental overvaluation (16, 21).
Empathize with Their Feelings
It is extremely soothing to Narcissists when you demonstrate that you understand and empathize with how they feel. But..do not insert anything about how the situation makes you feel, or anything about you at all unless it is an apology.
Malignant narcissism is considered by many to be the most severe type. 2 That's why it helps to recognize when you have someone with this condition in your life and what to expect from interactions with them. This knowledge can also provide insight into how to deal with them in the healthiest way possible.
Ignoring behavior serves as a defense against forming deep, meaningful connections that might expose their insecurities. Reaction to Perceived Threats: When narcissists feel their self-image is threatened, they may resort to ignoring as a way to reassert their perceived superiority.
Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They're also threatened by people who don't kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way.
By understanding narcissistic behavior patterns, setting clear boundaries, practicing emotional detachment, and prioritizing self-care, we can protect our mental health and maintain healthier relationships. Remember that you deserve to have healthy relationships free from manipulation and abuse.
Never say to them, they can never change
A narcissistic person is inherently oppositional. They will fight back on anything we ask them to do, just to hold their ground and exercise their freedom. If we tell them to do something, they commit to not doing it.
Research has suggested grandiose narcissists tend to seek out situations where admiration, status attainment, and leadership are possible (Deol & Schermer, 2021). Thus, grandiose narcissists may be more interested in pursuing artistic or business careers.
The way to outsmart a narcissist, is to know the game they're trying to play, and opt out of it! Don't even think about stepping out onto the field, because they will out play you! The game narcissistic people play, is called staging dramas and setting traps.
As mentioned previously, narcissists are attracted to trophy partners, whom they see as mirror images of their own faultless self and as a springboard for their own status (Campbell, 1999, Grapsas et al., 2020, Seidman, 2016).
From this perspective, it might be most rewarding for dispositionally dominant individuals (such as narcissists) to seek romantic partners who are low in dominance, because these cannot impose submissiveness on them.
What are the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder?
When ignored, a narcissist may feel a range of emotions, including frustration, anger, and insecurity. They often crave attention and admiration, so being ignored can threaten their ego and lead to feelings of rejection.
An overt, grandiose narcissist speaks quickly and constantly. Having been softened by the narcissist's bright energy and intense focus on you, you feel obliged to listen. Before you know it, you find yourself dragged along on a meandering conversation, unsure exactly how you ended up on this endless river of words.
Based on some overlapping symptoms, borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are two mental health disorders that are often mistaken for one another.
"People who tend to attract narcissists are those who assume the best in others or always see someone's potential or who believe everyone can change and deserves a second chance," Cole says.