It's up to the host to decide the number of guests. A shower should be an intimate party—not a gathering that rivals the wedding—so the guest list is usually made up of the couple's close friends, family, and attendants. The host usually consults the bride to be sure that shower guests are wedding guests.
A bridal shower is a more intimate affair of your closest friends and relatives on both side of the aisle. You do not have to invite the plus ones of friends invited to the wedding, co-workers and acquaintances of your parents. You also don't have to invite friends of your future spouse unless you're close to them too.
Don't Invite Anyone to the Bridal Shower If They're Not Also Invited to the Wedding. This may seem obvious, but inviting people to the bridal shower if they are not invited to the wedding is inappropriate. It will likely offend them, and it looks very much so like you're pandering for gifts.
A bridal shower should be an event for those closest to the bride, both in relationship and location. I'm often asked how many guests should be invited to a shower, and I usually recommend keeping it to around 25 guests if possible. Everyone wants to see their gift opened and the reaction on the bride's face.
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com.
With that in mind, who gets invited to a bridal shower? Traditionally, the guest list consists of the bride-to-be's closest female friends and relatives. It's also considered proper etiquette for close relatives of the bride-to-be's spouse to attend the shower.
Because the shower is a wedding event, the basic rule is that you should only invite people who are invited to the wedding. Like a lot of etiquette rules, this is about avoiding social weirdness and hurt feelings.
The Average Cost of a Bridal Shower Gift
According to Opperman, bridal shower gifts tend to be less expensive than wedding gifts. "Many people spend around $50 to $75, whereas closer friends and family may spend upwards of $100," she says. "However, the amount you want to spend is up to you."
It's also pretty common today that brides have more than one shower for various reasons. Hosts of the different showers should be sure to consult each other on dates and guest lists so there isn't any overlap. It is common for Bridesmaids, mom and mother-in-laws to be invited to all showers.
Typically, whoever is hosting the bridal shower or couple's shower will pay for the celebration. It's poor etiquette to ask shower guests to contribute to the costs of the event, so avoid doing so.
Only family members and close friends make the cut, meaning you might want to send a little something anyway to mark the occasion. "It's not obligatory to buy a gift if you can't attend the shower, but it's a nice gesture if you are close to the bride," says Gottsman.
The difference between bridal and wedding showers is pretty simple. The bridal shower is designed for just you and the girls while the wedding shower is a co-ed party where the bride and groom both get showered with gifts and love.
Bridal Shower Etiquette
Bridal showers are typically thrown by the bride's side of the family or the bridal party. The mother of the groom, along with the groom's side of the family, are typically also invited to the bridal shower.
With that being said, our experience shows us that the average number of guests at a bridal shower is about 25, with 20-30 being the average range. Ultimately, it's up to the bride and bridal shower host to make the final decision.
Typically, whoever throws the event is the one must cover the costs. Often, the maid of honor and her fellow bridesmaids throw the bridal shower and pay for it, and the mother of the bride contributes.
Remember, it doesn't break any etiquette rules to not attend a bridal shower or bachelorette party but still attend the wedding, provided that you RSVP separately for each.
Traditionally, the mother of the bride doesn't host the bridal shower (the maid of honor typically assumes the chief shower-planning role), however, your daughter will likely want you to be a part of the celebration.
Close family members on the bride's partner's side.
Their partner's sisters, aunts, and female cousins should be on your invite list.
"Under optimum circumstances, the attendants in the bridal party would host the shower. The mother of the bride (MOB) should be a guest, but should not participate. There are some circumstances where the MOB would discreetly offer financial assistance, but request to keep her name off the invitation.
Most experts agree that $50 to $75 is an acceptable amount to spend on a bridal shower gift. Close friends and family members usually spend more than $100 on a bridal shower gift.
The typical range for a bridal shower gift is a value between $25 and $75. Your personal budget and how important the bride is to you will guide how much you are able or willing to spend. Close members of the bride's family often spend a little more for the perfect gift.
Generally, guests spend $50–$75 on a gift for the bridal shower. Use this as a ballpark range while setting your overall wedding gift budget, but know that it's not a hard and fast rule. The general guideline here is to simply give what you can afford—no matter the occasion.
A common ritual that happens at bridal showers is the person preparing for marriage opening their gifts in front of guests.
If you're hosting a couples' shower, you should both be in attendance throughout the event. Otherwise, it's expected that if your fiancé shows up, it'll be toward the end of the event. Thirty minutes to an hour is usually considered a good amount of time, as most showers run for two to three hours.