People with an ambivalent attachment style (also referred to as “anxious-preoccupied,” “ambivalent-anxious,” or simply “anxious attachment”) tend to be overly needy. As the labels suggest, people with this attachment style are often anxious and uncertain, lacking in self-esteem.
Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.
AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS
People with an avoidant attachment style can come across as selfish, appearing to put their own needs in front of their partner's needs.
Known as disorganized attachment style in adulthood, the fearful avoidant attachment style is thought to be the most difficult. Sadly, this insecure attachment style is often seen in children that have experienced trauma or abuse.
Most attachment specialists believe that the disorganized attachment style is the most difficult of the three insecure attachment styles to treat because it incorporates both the anxious and the avoidant styles.
Avoidant Attachment: less likely to fall in love and more likely to engage in casual sex. Adults with an avoidant attachment style typically have a deactivated attachment system. Avoidant individuals do not seek proximity and intimacy, avoid the display of emotions, and appear distant and cold.
Some studies showed that differences in attachment styles seem to influence both the frequency and the patterns of jealousy expression: individuals with the preoccupied or fearful-avoidant attachment styles more often become jealous and consider rivals as more threatening than those with the secure attachment style [9, ...
As I pointed out earlier, previous studies on dating couples had showed that the anxiously attached were least likely to be unfaithful and the avoidantly attached the most.
Higher fearful and dismissing attachment styles, and higher physical activity index were significantly associated with higher physical and verbal aggression. A higher fearful attachment style was significantly associated with more anger. A higher secure attachment style was significantly associated with less anger.
Adults with an anxious/preoccupied attachment style might think highly of others but often suffer from low self-esteem. These individuals are sensitive and attuned to their partners' needs, but are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship.
Individuals high in anxious attachment are more likely to engage in emotional manipulation and other harmful behaviors intended to prevent a partner from leaving the relationship, which in turn is linked to reduced relationship satisfaction, according to new research published in Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences.
Codependency describes behavior for both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. These styles are inherently contradictory– they have different strategies for managing needs for closeness and independence– hence the trouble with trying to come up with a single definition of codependency.
Participants in one study with confirmed histories of childhood neglect were more likely to have anxious and avoidant attachment styles. The same study found that both forms of insecure attachment (anxious and avoidant) predicted depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.
Love Avoidants recognize and are attracted to the Love Addict's strong fear of being left because Love Avoidants know that all they have to do to trigger their partner's fear is threaten to leave.
Conflict avoidance: Most people with this attachment style are conflict-averse. They may shut down or end a close relationship at the first sign of conflict. Suppressing emotions: Dismissive avoidant people tend to conceal their feelings.
According to psychologists, people with avoidant attachment styles are individuals uncomfortable with intimacy and are therefore more likely to multiply sexual encounters and cheat.
Cook says hopeless romantics are often coping with anxious attachment, which goes hand-in-hand with a fear of abandonment. "With anxious attachment, we feel desperate to find a connection — sometimes, any connection — and will do just about anything to hold onto it, even if it is not serving us."
Due to the fact that someone with an avoidant attachment style is more likely to end a relationship because it's starting to become serious, combined with their reluctance to re-establish a romantic connection, many people may be wondering how to get over an avoidant partner.
Avoidant partners tend to talk more about independence rather than closeness, freedom rather than intimacy, and self-reliance rather than interdependence. They fear clingy people or being seen as clingy themselves. Avoidant or unavailable partners tend to believe they can only depend on themselves.
They may seem emotionally distant and unstable, but their love can be genuine. In general, love avoidant people often become closer to love addicts. It is simply like the opposite attracts.
Fears of Love Avoidants
Love Avoidants fear vulnerability, intimacy, dependence, and genuine love. This avoidance of connection stems from difficulty developing healthy attachments in their early life. It is a form of self-preservation.
“Anxious and avoidant attachment styles are related to increased feelings of loneliness, whereas individuals with secure attachment styles report lower levels of loneliness,” Lieberz said.
Rejection sensitivity is a concept that refers to the anxious anticipation of rejection, the easy emergence of the perception of rejection, and overreacting to rejection (7). The idea that people have a desire to avoid rejection and need acceptance forms the basis of attachment theory (8).
Children with avoidant attachment were taught that their parents either did not care about their emotions or were not equipped to deal with them.