INFJs often lock out their emotions when they're upset. These often try to process their thoughts before reacting, which is why they might keep quiet or shut people out when aggrieved. The last thing they'd want to do is to react without consideration.
It's easy to think of the INFJ's door slam reaction as dramatic, but it couldn't be further from the truth. That's because an INFJ has likely gone through months (or even years) of feeling hurt, left out, disappointed, or exhausted by the person before they decide to cut them out.
INFJs are perfectionists. Their compulsion for perfection can be harmful to the INFJ themselves, but it can also push people away. The INFJs high expectations can make their partners feel like they are never good enough.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone.
There are several reasons why INFJs disappear. INFJs disappear because, as introverts, they need time alone to recharge. They retreat when they want to process their thoughts alone. If you have hurt an INFJ or overstepped any boundaries, they will pull away.
INFJ: Superficiality
Superficial conversations about gossipy topics or small talk don't usually interest an INFJ, so it can be a major turn-off when someone is too eager to stick to the surface level of communication. Shallow conversations and frivolous topics can make an INFJ feel bored, disconnected, and uninspired.
Yes, the INFJ could be withdrawing from you because they realize they aren't really interested in you in that way. They may want to remain friends, but they're afraid to say those words out loud, in case they lose a relationship with you completely.
The final sign that an INFJ is about to door-slam someone is that we become apathetic. By this point, we have lost all interest in the relationship and will no longer fight for it. At this stage, we have no energy left to argue. We will be calm and collected when we tell you that we're done.
Well, first off, INFJs have a really high patience threshold when it comes to dealing with other people. Maybe it's because of the ever-growing Fe. So, the fact that your INFJ stopped talking to you speaks volumes about you. This may include the way you interact with people, and how your attitude affects them.
They either leave if they weren't comfortable, if you hurt them, didn't respect their boundaries or if the relationship/friendship wasn't healthy. If they left you in bad terms then they will never come back. If they left you in good terms or basically cut contact with you then probably 50% they may come.
INFJs are Idealists who care about personal growth and bringing the best out in others. This sounds great on paper, but it also means you may idolize people and create unrealistic expectations when it comes to romantic partnerships.
When INFJs get angry, they're likely to process their feelings through Introverted Thinking before expressing them out loud. For example, imagine that you're an INFJ and you're angry because someone slacked off on a commitment and now you're running late on a deadline for work.
They might talk. But they will seem totally uninterested. They won't ask you anything about your well being or your life which they normally might (if they care). It will feel like they are a completely different person.
Empathic and sensitive, INFJs are constantly bombarded by other people's emotions. We are already a radiator of internal energy, as our own emotions are always simmering just below the surface. Often, the traumas that others experience ratchet up the emotional heat, sometimes leaving us threatening to combust.
As one of the rarest personality types, they have a difficult time meeting someone like them in their careers, families, or other social groups. INFJs carry a burden few others will ever share. They often feel like they don't fit in, can't be “seen,” or aren't accepted as they truly are.
In order for the door to be re-opened, the INFJ must feel that the other person will no longer hurt them. They must believe the other person is sorry for the pain they caused — and they understand why their actions were damaging.
Number 1 heart break for Infj is death. We have a hard time dealing with death and the thought of never seeing that person again destroys our heart, also the empathy that we feel for the people that are left behind after the death of a loved one is Agony. What breaks an INFJ's heart? The world and humanity.
As we've just found out, INFJs are highly sensitive. If they're reacting to something, the last thing you want to do is make them feel like they're being irrational by dismissing their emotions. When INFJs are hurt or offended during moments of conflict they need time to heal and think through their next steps.
Perhaps the most telling sign of burnout is a dwindling passion for your job, or doubt about whether this is the job for you. When you have become entirely spent, the amount of energy you can dedicate to your job starts to dwindle. When INFJs can't give their 100 percent, we start second-guessing our decisions.
When they're depressed or uninspired, they feel fatigued and drained. INFJs without a vision for the future feel listless and apathetic, as if they're lost in a fog and unable to find a light to guide them home.
It's said that INFJs will often leave relationships in an abrupt manner, without much communication. When an INFJ decides that a relationship is over or irritation starts to grow too hard to handle, INFJs may choose the doorslam as an effective strategy of getting out.
Commitment and Marriage
Those with INFJ traits do well in committed relationships and marriage, although they may have a hard time finding a partner who can give them the deep, emotional connection that they crave. Those with INFJ traits value loyalty, respect, and relational intimacy.
INFJs preferring Quality Time and/or Words of Affirmation is also supported by a survey conducted by Heidi Priebe. According to Priebe's survey, 35.67% of INFJs list “Quality Time” as their preferred love language.
Chances are the reason they're ignoring you is because of you. It might be you're annoying them. Maybe you forgot something and now they're hurt because of it. Maybe it's something as simple as they need to recharge so they can actually interact with you again and not feel on edge about socializing.