What makes betrayal so painful is that it is not an act committed by your worst enemies, but it is an act that has been carried out by those you love and trust the most. Many often use the expression “I've been stabbed in the back” to describe an act of betrayal, and it couldn't be closer to the truth.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” - Author unknown.
The pain caused by betrayal brings many personal unresolved issues closer to the surface. Most people shy away from digging deeper into the emotions that arise, to do so can be incredibly uncomfortable and painful. First and foremost, the person who has been betrayed must accept that they did not cause the betrayal.
Recovering from betrayal trauma is not something that can be done in a day or two. On average, it usually takes between eighteen months to three years to absolutely recover, especially with a lot of help and moral support.
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.
The first is excessive ambition, greed, lust or passion. When a person cannot control is overcome with these vices, he's liable to betray. A drug addict will betray the trust placed on him because his addiction is overpowering. It is greater than any sense of loyalty, integrity or honesty he may have.
A betrayed person may experience:
Paranoia. Hypervigilance or feelings that nothing is safe. A sense of inadequacy or embarrassment. Shame or self-blame.
They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress. The effects of betrayal include shock, loss and grief, morbid pre-occupation, damaged self-esteem, self-doubting, anger.
Most people who have betrayed someone they love feel plagued by feelings of guilt, sadness, shame, or remorse. Your own capacity to hurt a loved one may also damage your own self-esteem and identity.
Betrayal hurts because someone you love and care about chose to hurt you. When you have put such a large emotional investment into a person and only for them to turn around and cause you suffering, you feel as though you lost a part of yourself. This feeling of heartbreak is normal for a short duration.
While experiences may vary, people commonly go through several stages after learning of their partner's betrayal, whether it be an emotional affair, hidden pornography use, or a sexual affair. They include shock, denial, obsession, anger, bargaining, mourning, acceptance and recovery.
The stages of betrayal trauma recovery are not always linear, but there are generally three main phases: shock and disbelief, grief and anger, and rebuilding trust. In the first stage, shock and disbelief, people often feel numb and confused.
Betrayal trauma can also affect self-esteem, lead to distrust in relationships and mental health challenges. If your partner cheated on you, abused you, or ghosted you, you may feel betrayed. You might also feel betrayed if they don't prioritize you or you find that they're repeatedly unreliable.
The signs and symptoms of Betrayal Trauma vary, but generally include symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), such as: Intrusive thoughts and images. Nightmares or flashbacks. Avoidance behaviors.
Betrayal trauma is a type of trauma that refers to the pain and emotional distress that occurs when a trusted institution, loved one, or intimate partner violates someone's trust. Betrayal trauma may occur alongside things like gaslighting and lead to anxiety and depression.
Betrayal captures the dilemma people face." That betrayal usually causes a person to feel shame and fear, and it can have lasting mental health repercussions. Here's what to know about this specific form of trauma.
So yes, you can love your partner and betray them. Or be loved and feel betrayed. If it happens, it's important to show them how much you care and take responsibility do what's in your power to make things right.
In a questionnaire of 495 people it was demonstrated that lack of love, self-esteem, attachment insecurity and neglect were indications for why people cheated.
Talking down your partner is the last thing you should do if you want a healthy and long-lasting relationship. It is worse than cheating because it not only damages your relationship but ruins your partner's self-esteem.
Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
Hysterical bonding is an emotion-focused coping strategy that occurs after infidelity or betrayal in a romantic relationship. It can occur in the confines of sexual affairs as much as emotional affairs.