A narcissist will spread lies or create embellishments about their victim in order to destroy the individual's reputation. This is a common behavior for those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) when they realize they have lost control over this other person.
Narcissist Lies Often Turn Into Gaslighting
For the NPD, the lies are often a prelude to gaslighting. Gaslighting is a psychological weapon used by some to keep a person emotionally off-balance. When they lie to the person's face about what may have occurred, they cause the victim to question their own sanity.
They want you to love them.
They may be telling you that they love you because they so desperately want you to love them. This is a part of the love bombing stage of the narcissistic relationship. They want you to feel valued, idealized, and perfect for them so that you will feel the same way about them.
There are four phases of narcissistic manipulation: attraction, feeling small, sabotage, and countering manipulation with kindness.
Narcissists are hurt by challenges or threats to their superior and grandiose self-image (also known as narcissistic injury). Their sense of entitlement and lack of empathy means they will attempt to destroy the culprit by any means necessary.
React with empathy and respect.
A narcissist thrives on conflict, and will take control of the conversation as soon as you get defensive or try to fight back. Instead, you can take control by making empathetic statements about the situation, which will help the narcissist calm down.
If you point out that someone is lying or cheating and they react by turning the tables and making you feel as though you are in the wrong or mistaken, that could be a sign of narcissistic rage.
Narcissists lie to maintain power and control over the people they interact with. They are driven by an intense need for admiration, attention, and adoration, which can never be fully satisfied; therefore, their lies protect against any perceived threat of being exposed as inadequate or phony.
Four Ds of Narcissism: Deny, Dismiss, Devalue & Divorce.
Self-pity makes a narcissist feel like a hero.
So, feeling self-pity and playing the victim acts as a substitute for that lack of authentic self-worth. Essentially, being the victim makes them the mistreated and misunderstood hero in a story that's all about them.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Shrugging off the praise, as if it doesn't matter to them. Attempting to one-up their success. Getting angry and telling you that you should be with that person instead. Discrediting the praise and blaming the person for lying, stealing, or manipulating.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.