Narcissists may use the silent treatment to communicate they are unhappy with you, to control you, or as a form of punishment. If the narcissist uses the silent treatment to deflect responsibility for something they have done wrong, it can also be a form of narcissistic gaslighting.
If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
A narcissist's silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, or even months. Our survey among 500 people who have experienced narcissistic abuse revealed that on average, a narcissist's silent treatment lasts four-and-a-half days and usually ends when the narcissist needs more narcissistic supply.
Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist's attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.
Narcissists sometimes disappear to punish you for something they believe you've done wrong. Then reappear when they've decided to “forgive” you. It's their way of conditioning you to do as you're told, through reward and punishment. They also control the relationship.
Devaluation occurs when the narcissist no longer believes you provide any value to their image or sense of worth. They devalue you to make you feel powerless, so they can feel powerful. The reason that led to the ignoring from the narcissist isn't important because the reason often doesn't make sense to the outsider.
Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.
The narcissist's goal with the silent treatment is to get you to think you are in the wrong, apologize, and then all blame is on you. They have effectively created a scenario where you have taken the blame while they sit back and wait for you to come to them.
When in a relationship with a narcissist, silence becomes the unspoken rule. The abused learns what they can do and not do, say and not say, and over time are conditioned into abiding by the rules as a learned behavior and as part of an established and acceptable method of relationship.
You should never use the silent treatment on a narcissist because it is an emotionally stunted and immature form of stonewalling that narcissists use when they experience a narcissistic injury.
Silence can be a powerful weapon against narcissists. By refusing to engage, you deny them the attention and validation they need to feel important. Silence can be a form of boundary-setting, a way to protect your mental health, and a way to take back control of the situation.
First things first- a narcissist doesn't react well to being ignored. In fact, they absolutely hate it. What is this? Narcissists thrive on validation and attention from others.
The act of ghosting is a power move that someone with narcissistic personality disorder may use. There are many reasons why someone might ghost you. It may be because they lost interest and want to avoid the conflict of telling you this personally. It may be they want to see your reaction and how much you care.
But here is the rub: Over time, the narcissist usually senses that you are pulling away, and it is then that your problems take on a different form. Narcissists hate feeling that they might be rejected or that you might conclude that they are defective. So, they go into compensation mode by turning the tables.
If they think the planning was made by someone else, or is something the other person wants, this makes the narcissist feel out of control. The narcissist cannot handle this feeling, so they act quickly to ensure that the balance of control is back in their favor. This is done by cancelling plans, even if last minute.
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.
Over time, people in long-term relationships of any kind with narcissists may feel tense as that person's birthday approaches." On the other end of the spectrum, however, there are narcissists who don't like their birthdays because they are reminders of ageing, or they find them overly emotional.
If someone displays unmanageable emotions and easily flies off the handle, this is a serious red flag. Responding with uncontrollable rage or the "silent treatment" could point to abusive (physical or emotional) behavior in the future, says Trombetti.
The person using the silent treatment may abruptly leave the house and stay out, or completely ignore the other partner the rest of the night, knowing this would be upsetting. In some cases, the use of the silent treatment may last for days or weeks.
Men can be silent when they're angry, happy, fearful, or sad! It's confusing for everyone. Partners, mainly women, experience huge concern, confusion and anxiety when they experience the silence and withdrawal of their partner.